Email and Computer support

[Colin Brett]

As email seems to be a bit of a talking point, here's a little something to think about!!!!!!!!!!

 

Have pity for those on Technical Support. These are some of the customer queries they have to put up with.

 

Customer Calls from Hell

 

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

 

Customer: "Ok."

 

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

 

Customer: "No."

 

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

 

Customer: "No."

 

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

 

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

 

Tech Support: "Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?"

 

Customer: "I have done something dumb, right?"

 

Tech Support: "Thank you for calling. How can I help you?"

 

Customer: "Help!"

 

Tech Support: "What's the problem, sir?"

 

Customer: "My Disk Drive started making funny noises, so I put my finger in it to see what was wrong, and now I CAN'T GET IT OUT!!"

 

Customer: "If I want somebody to send a reply to my email...should I include a self-addressed stamped envelope along with it?"

 

Tech Support: "How may I help you?"

 

Customer: "I'm writing my first email."

 

Tech Support: "Ok, what seems to be the problem?"

 

Customer: "Well I can get the 'a'. But how do I put the circle around it?"

 

Customer: "I can't seem to send any email. Is the Internet full?"

 

Tech Support: "What are you doing to send it?"

 

Customer: "I write it down on a piece of paper, slide it into the slot on the front of my computer, and click on 'send mail'."

 

Customer: "You sent me this diskette. Are you gonna send me a computer so I can run this?"

 

Tech Support:"Excuse me?"

 

Customer:"Yeah, I just got your software in the mail...when are you sending the computer?"

 

Tech Support:"You don't have a computer?"

 

Customer:"Nope. But I have the software -- just send me the computer, and you've got a new member."

 

Customer:"Do you have WordPerfect for Gameboy?"

 

Tech Support:"No, but I'll call you when it comes in."

 

Sometimes it's better to go along with the customer and not ask questions.

 

Customer:(exasperated) "I'm sure it's the correct password. I typed in the one I saw (another co-worker) use to login to her machine."

 

Tech Support: "And what password was that?"

 

Customer: "Five asterisks."

 

The Internet

 

Customer: "I just downloaded the Internet. How do I use it?"

 

Customer: "I don't have a computer at home. Is the Internet available in book form?"

 

Customer: "Will the Internet be open on Independance Day tomorrow?"

 

Colin