How To Avoid Compulsory Military Service.

[Paul_D]

Translated from the original email in Croatian...which is copied below for you to read if you can!

 

This is a true letter that was sent by an unknown young man in Croatia, containing a request to be relieved of obligation to serve military service.

 

Dear Minister of Defence,

 

Please allow me to explain the situation I find myself in hoping you will be able to assist. Currently I expect to receive a call up to serve in Croatian Army. I am 23 years old and married to a 47 year old widow. My wife has a 26 year old daughter from previous marriage. Her daughter is married to my own father. Having married a daughter of my wife, my father has become my son in law. Likewise, my wife is a mother in law to my father, and my wife's daughter is my step mother. In July my wife gave birth to a son. This child is brother of father's wife, and father in law to my father. Likewise, this child is my uncle, because he is a brother of my step mother.

 

In September, my father's wife gave birth to a son. That child is my brother as he is my father's son. At the same time, that child is my grandson as he is a son of my wife's daughter. Therefore, I am my grandson's brother, and considering that a husband of someone's mother is also father of that child, I am father of my wife's daughter, and brother to her son.

 

Hence it is obvious that I am my own grandfather. I hope I have explained that clearly. I hope, dear minister, that you will relieve me of my obligation to serve military service as the law states that sons of more than two generations apart (grandfather, father and grandson) should not partake in military service at the same time.

 

Thank you for your understanding.

 

The reply from Croatian Ministry of Defence followed in two weeks.

 

The report states that: the individual is permanently relieved of obligation to serve military service due to suspicion of psychological instability caused by chaotic familial relations.

 

-----Original Message-----

 

-----Original Message-----

 

 

 

Ovo je istinito pismo kojim je nepoznati mladic u Hrvatskoj pokusao

izbjeci vojnicku duznost.

 

Stovani gospodine ministre obrane,

 

Dozvolite mi da Vam objasnim svoju situaciju u nadi da cete moci

razrijesiti moj slucaj. Trenutno cekam poziv u redove HV. Imam 23

godine, ozenjen sam 47-godisnjom udovicom, koja ima 26-godisnju kci. Sa

tom kceri ozenjen je moj otac. Ozenivsi kci moje zene, moj je otac

postao i moj zet. U isto vrijeme, moja je zena tasta mome ocu, a kci

moje zene moja je maceha. U sijecnju zena i ja dobismo sina. To je

dijete brat oceve zene, a zet moga oca. U isto vrijeme, to je dijete i

moj stric, jer je brat moje macehe.

U svibnju zena mog oca rodila je sina. To je dijete moj brat, jer je sin

moga oca. U isto vrijeme, to je dijete i moj unuk, jer je sin zenine

kceri. Dakle, ja sam brat svoga unuka, a s obzirom da je muz necije

majke i otac toga djeteta, ja sam i otac zenine kceri, te brat njenog

sina.

Jasno je, dakle, da sam ja svoj vlastiti djed. Nadam se da sam sve jasno

objasnio. Nadam se, gospodine ministre, da cete me razrijesiti vojnicke

duznosti, jer zakona nalaze da sinovi vise od dviju generacija (dakle

djed, otac i unuk) ne smiju istovremeno sluziti vojsku.

Hvala vam na razumijevanju.

 

Odgovor Ministarstva Odbrane RH uslijedio je nakon dva tjedna.

 

U izvjestaju pisalo je:

Osoba je permanentno razrijesesna vojnicke duznosti, zbog sumnje

psihickih nedostataka i mentalne nestabilnosti koje su poslijedica

kaotickih odnosa unutar obitelji.

[Newt]

Good stuff - and one of the better versions I've seen. It's also a song.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Long version /w music is Here

 

Shorter version:

 

I'm My Own Grandpa

Many many years ago, when I was twenty-three, I was married to a widow as pretty as can be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her and soon the two were wed.

 

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life, For my daughter was my mother, for she was my father's wife. To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy, I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

 

My little baby thus became a brother-in-law to Dad, And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad. For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother To the widow's grown-up daughter, who of course was my step-mother.

 

Father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run, And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter's son. My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue, Because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too!

 

Oh, if my wife's my grandmother then I am her grandchild, And every time I think of it it nearly drives me wild. For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw - As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.

 

(Chorus) I'm my own grandpa I'm my own grandpa It sounds funny I know, but it really is so I'm my own grandpa.

 

 

By: Dwight B. Latham and Moe Jaffee

[Paul_D]