The Bridge

[Johnny Boy]

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud,

"Lord grant me one wish."

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said,

"Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The man said,

"Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want."

The Lord said,

"Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said,

"Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy."

 

The Lord replied,

"You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

[Peggy Burke]

I sent the post to a friend who sent me this one in return.

 

LIFE EXPLAINED

 

On the 1st day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and

give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of 60

years." The cow said, " That's kind of a tough life you want me to live

for 60 years. Let me have 25 and I'll give back the other 35." And God

agreed.

 

On the 2nd day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of

your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you

a life span of 20 years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking.

Give me 10 years and I'll give you back the other 10." So God agreed.

 

On the 3rd day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do

monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a 20 year life span." The

monkey said, "How boring, monk ey tricks for 20 years! I don't think so.

Dog gave you back 10, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreedagain.

 

On the 4th day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex,

enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy life, enjoy. I'll give you 25 years." Man

said, "What, only 25 years! No way, man. Tell you what, I'll take my 25,

the 35 the cow gave back, the 10 the dog gave back and the 10 the monkey

gave back, that makes 80, okay." "Okay" God said, "It's a deal"

 

So thats why we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy life and do nothing for

the first 25 yrs, we slave in the sun to support our family for the next

35, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren for the next 10,

and for the last 10 we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

 

Life has now been explained!!!!

[MrWiggly]

I Like It !! I Like It !!

[poledark]

"Woof woof, get orf my porch"

Den

[*Dave*]

hi folks,

both are very good still in stitches

[ridgeacre]

They are my kind of joke, good uns