A Very Bad Joke.............

[Paul_D]

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two

 

prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian.

The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries

about being eaten..."

As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While out swimming alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't believe his luck. Justin figured that the fish could change him back into a prawn. He begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold, he is turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse).

Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal.

"Where's Christian?" he asked.

"He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted,

"It's me,Justin,your old friend, come out and see me again.

Christian replied "No way man, you'll eat me.You're a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked."

Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.".

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"I've found Cod, I'm a prawn again,Christian".

[John Ellison]

This one's worse.

 

I chap I work with had not had sex with the wife for 2 years.

His wife said he was becoming a menace. All he ever thought about was sex. There must be something wrong with you she said, you had better go and see the doctor.

So he went to the doctors and the regular doctor was on holiday. A chinese doctor was there instead.

He explained what was what and the doctor said Yes I understand. Drop you're trousers. Crawl on your hands and knees to the wall. Yes. Crawl back again. Yes. Yes says the doctor I'm afraid you've got eggsackeryitis. Eggsackeryitis! Whats that doctor?

 

Your face looks eggsackery rike you backside.

[Alan Taylor]

Tinca61:

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worse one still.

3 labourers on a site, 1 English, 1German and 1 Chinese.

 

There was a massive mound of sand to move so the foreman gives out the work to the men.

Englishman you will take the shovel and move this mound of sand over there.

German, you will take the broom and sweep everything he misses.

Chinaman you are in charge of supplies.

 

The foreman leaves them to get on with the job. After a couple of hours he returns to find that no work had been done

 

Englishman, why have you not noved this sand, No shovel sir you put the China man i/c supplies and he has not provided the tools.

 

German, this site is a mess why have you not swept up? No broom sir, you put the chinaman i/c of supplies and he has not provided the tools.

 

The foreman is now very angry but can't find the Chinaman, he shouts out "Chinaman where are"

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'there is movement behind the sand pile and up pops the china man shouting

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''SUPLIES, SURPRISE

 

Sorry

 

Alan(nl)

[Guest sslatter]

You want poor? You got it…

 

One day, an angler is sitting by the riverbank, and a salmon pops its head out of the water and strikes up a conversation. Every time that this angler goes fishing in the same spot, the salmon turns up for a chat, and the angler becomes quite attached to his new friend.

Then, one day he goes fishing as usual, and the salmon pops his head out of the water, and says that he is off out to sea, and that he has come to say goodbye. The angler is a bit miffed, but the salmon says not to worry-he’ll be back in the spring. The angler cheers up a bit on hearing this, and says to the salmon:

“You know, I don’t even know your name…”

The salmon replies: “My name is Mushty.” So they say their goodbyes, and the angler packs up and goes home.

 

One day next spring, the angler goes fishing at the same spot, and is delighted when his friend pops his head out of the water to say hello.

The angler says:

“So how was your winter? Did you have fun out at sea?”

The salmon replies:

“Yeah! It was great! I went far out to sea exploring! I even went deep down, and explored the wreck of the Titanic! It was great! It was so fantastic, that I have been moved to write an epic poem about the whole adventure!”

“What’s it gonna be called then?” asks the angler.

The fish replies:

“Oh, I’m gonna call it “The Titanic Verses” by Salmon Mushty..”