Quantas Airlines...an oldie but goodie

[Baldrick]

After every flight pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight.

The mechanics respond in writing on the lower half what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews this b4 the next flight....

 

Keep in mind that Quantas is the only airline that has never had an accident..

 

P=The problem logged by pilot

S=The solution and action taken by engineer

 

P:Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement

S:Almost replaced left inside main tyre

 

P:Test flight OK, except autoland very rough

S:Autoland not installed on this aircraft

 

P:Something loose in cockpit

S:Something tightened in cockpit

 

P:Dead bugs on windshield

S:Live bugs on back-order

 

P:Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent

S:Cannot reproduce problem on ground

 

P:Evidence of leak on right main landing gear

S:Evidence removed

 

P:DME volume unbelievably loud

S:DME volume set to more believable level

 

P:Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick

S:Thats what they're there for

 

P:Suspected crack in windshield

S:Suspect your right

 

P:Number three engine missing

S:Engine found on right wing after brief search

 

P:Aircraft handles funny

S:Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious

 

P:Target radar hums

S:Reprogrammed target radar with words

 

P:Mouse in cockpit

S:Cat installed

[Chris Plumb]

Err we had this a few days ago

 

http://anglersnet.co.uk/ubb/ultimatebb.php...ic;f=6;t=004140

 

Chris

[Baldrick]

OOoops.... apologies, didn't notice that one