Company Cars

[Guest Ferret1959]

To the casual observer there is little or no difference between a company car and the ordinary private car. But here is a list of some things that a company car can so that private cars can not.

 

1. Did you know for example that a company car will travel faster in all gears, especially reverse? They also accelerate at a phenomenal rate and enjoy a much shorted braking distance.

 

2. Ramps prove no hindrance as company cars can take them at twice the speed of ordinary cars. And they have a much tighter turning circle

 

3. Battery, water, oil and tyre pressures so not need to be checked nearly as often.. indeed a company car can be driven up to 100 miles with the oil warning light flashing.

 

4. Company cars do not need to be garaged over night and they require cleaning less especially inside. To this end the floor is shaped like an ashtray.

 

5. They only burn the petrol with the highest star rating

 

6. A special adaptation is incorporated to allow reverse gear to be engaged whilst the car is still moving forward.

 

7. On construction the company cars suspension is reinforced to allow the carriage of concrete slabs and other heavy building materials.

 

8. Tyre walls are specially designed to allow bumping into and over curb stones.

 

9. The quality of paint work is such that scratches and dents are not noticeable and they are immune to accidents.

 

10. Company cars need no security. They may be left anywhere, unlocked and with the keys in the ignition.

 

Despite the superior specification of company cars, there may be times when they produce alarming engine noises. This is easily eliminated however by adjusting the volume control on the radio.

[Peter Gowman]

Ferret

My wife drives a car similar to that and it don't belong to a company.

[Zinky]

Hey my new company car is only 4 weeks old and will only do half of those above oh well it does 50mpg must be driving it wrong

 

[ 28. January 2003, 04:44 PM: Message edited by: Dragonbat ]