The Ashes!

[Colin Brett]

The seven dwarfs went off to work in the mine one day, while Snow White stayed at home to do the housework and cook their lunch.

 

However when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs.

 

Tearfully she yelled in to the mine entrance: "hello - is anyone there. Can anyone hear me".

 

A voice floated up from the bowels of the mine:

 

"England will win the Ashes"

 

"Thank god" said Snow White "at least Dopey's still alive"

 

Colin

[Colin Brett]

And there's more sadly

 

Just in from my ex-mate who lives in Brisbane

 

Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?

A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

 

Q. What is the height of optimism?

A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

 

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball

almost always takes a wicket?

A. A bat.

 

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?

A. An allrounder.

 

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones

have over the rest of their team-mates?

A. At least they can say they're not really English.

 

Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?

A. Three runs in three balls.

 

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?

A. A bowler.

 

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English

batsmen?

A. The walk back to the pavilion.

 

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?

A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

 

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?

A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

 

Q. What's the English version of LBW?

A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

 

Colin

[cujimmy]

That's far too close to the truth to be remotely funny...