Janet

Oooh! I'd better go bake a birthday cake! Janet

Absolutely stunning photograph. Congratulations! Janet

Sounds positively kinky! Nice read - next time I expect you to post it without me having to nag!!! Janet

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young. We've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out lightbulb? Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. German Shepherd: I'll guard the lightbulb while you decide. Back off! Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid light! Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me! Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Leave it for the servants. Lab: Oh, me, ME!!! Pleeeeeeze let ME change the bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I? Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy. Jack Russell Terrier: I can reach it! I just KNOW I can reach it! Another twenty jumps, and it's mine, ALL mine!! Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark. Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? Pointer: I see it, there it is, rrrrriiiiiiight there. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?? (Shamelessly nicked from another forum, but it made me laugh!)

How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb? 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs 1 to move it to the Lighting section 2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section 7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs 5 to flame the spell checkers 3 to correct spelling/grammar flames 6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid 2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp" 15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct 19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum 11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum 36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty 7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs 4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's 3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group 13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too" 5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy 4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?" 13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs" 1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again. I think this could ring a few bells somewhere.

Is that it? I've been following this thread since it started, and thoroughly enjoying it. Saw you'd posted, and sat down with a cup of tea to read another good report. I feel totally deprived now! Janet

Groan! Why do I never see the punchline coming? Janet PS. Very good!

Many thanks for all your help guys! Janet

British Waterways don't allow it - see Tony's earlier post. We're talking about BW controlled waters here, mainly canals. They may have a different rule for rivers, but I haven't been able to find it! My local angling club states "Fishing from boats either stationary or in motion is prohibited" but that is just a club rule, and obviously only applies to the waters they own. Janet

That's an excellent bit of information Thanks for that Tony! I'd overlooked that page whilst searching for individual canals and clubs. I hope that if I can't buy a ticket in advance, that I'll be able to buy one if I'm approached, and they don't get too stroppy! As I'll only be able to fish for a couple of hours in the evening, and we'll be moored up miles from anywhere most nights, I expect I'll be alright. Thanks for all your help guys. Janet

I thought that it was illegal to fish from a boat on BW waters? It certainly is with my angling club membership. I've never heard of our boat licence covering us for angling too. Would be good it it did, but I'd prefer to err on the side of caution! Janet

Nick, thanks for that. I've been on Waterscape for hours without finding that information! Bit difficult to get phone numbers, but I'll keep at it. You're right - it's a lousy site to find your way round, especially when you're trying to do most of it at work without the boss catching you! Janet

Hi guys, Hope SOMEBODY out there can help with this one! It's a bit of a long shot, but the forum members on here are usually a good source of information! We are going on a two week narrowboat holiday in May, setting off to try and attempt to do the South Pennine Ring. We're starting from Sowerby Bridge, then heading off down the Huddersfield Broad, Huddersfield Narrow, Ashton, Rochdale Canals etc. If the current stoppage on the Rochdale isn't fixed, then we'll do the Outer Pennine Ring instead, missing the Rochdale and taking in the Bridgewater and on up the Wigan flight to the Leeds Liverpool, Aire and Calder, Calder and Hebble and back to Sowerby Bridge. My question is, is there any way I can find out before we go who owns the fishing rights to various stretches? Whichever route we take, we are going to be on a very tight schedule, with no time to moor up during the day to find a convenient tackle shop to ask advice and buy day tickets. We'll be cruising from early morning until early evening, so there's just no chance! I thought British Waterways would have the information, but they haven't been particularly helpful so far. If we knew exactly where we'd be moored each night it would be easier, but other than having a rough idea of which canal we'll be on, we really don't know where we're going to be, as our route won't be fixed until we know if this stoppage is cleared or not. I want to be able to fish for a while each evening once we've moored up. My other crew member can safely be left in charge of cooking! (he knows his place!) Can any of you lot help? I really don't want to run foul of any club bailiffs. I know I can probably get away with it, as we're likely to be moored out in the country, and unlikely to be caught, but that's not the way I like to do things. Even if you can just tell me your club, and which stretches they own, and a contact phone number, that would be a great help. Cheers lads, Janet

Ah yes, that'll be the newly re-opened Ceefax arm of the Grand Union! Yes, the missing narrowboat Holly was found late on Friday afternoon. I've been away for the weekend, so I'm off to Catch up on Holly! Thanks to all of you who took an interest, and kept your eyes open. I'll let you know what the outcome is. Janet

I think the main problem is that we wasted three weeks looking for a green boat, when she had, in fact, been repainted blue. If he's aware of the search, who knows what colour it may be now? Anyway, latest update from Middlewich Narrowboats this morning. A reported sighting within the last 24 hours. The full story can be found here - Missing narrowboat Holly

FURTHER UPDATE FROM MIDDLEWICH BOATS WE HAVE STILL HEARD NOTHING ABOUT THIS RUMOUR OF HOLLY ON THE OXFORD CANAL. We have, however, just this minute had a telephone call from a gentleman who is certain he was in a pub called Bridge 61 at Foxton last night with a fella who matches the picture of David King. If anyone knows where this pub is and is in the area - can you have a peep around the canal for us? He DID NOT see anything of the boat - but saying that, he has only just seen a picture of Mr King and realised about the boat. Trish

Yes, they've confirmed that the picture they received IS a picture of Holly, but it's a couple of weeks old, as the gentleman who took it didn't realise she was the subject of a search. At the moment Holly and Mr King remain missing. Janet

Message from Trish at Middlewich Narrowboats: WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED A TELEPHONE CALL STATING THAT THERE IS A RUMOUR GOING AROUND THAT HOLLY HAS BEEN FOUND ON THE OXFORD CANAL HIDING AMONGST SOME GYPSY BOATS. WE KNOW NOTHING OF THIS AT ALL AND CAN NOT CONFIRM THIS. AS FAR AS WE ARE CONCERNED HOLLY IS STILL MISSING TRISH

Yeah right! Not for me thanks! Would YOU do their job for all that hassle and no pay? I certainly wouldn't! (Unless, of course, they decide to pay in chocolate......) However, I'll continue to read all the threads, and won't hesitate to report anything that I feel is unsavoury or inappropriate, and leave the mods to make the final decision. We all signed up to certain conditions when we joined. I'm happy to abide by them. Rules is rules. I used to ignore anything I found offensive, until I realised that I actually had a voice, and that people do listen. The mods have been unfailingly helpful every time I've had cause to comment on some thread or other. I don't whinge a lot, honestly, but having been made welcome on this site, I will not stand by and read posts which show Anglersnet or decent anglers in a bad light. Janet OK Mods. I've sung your praises. Now, where's that cheque?

"He's got a nice smile....." Oh dear. I fear you may already be smitten! Men don't usually talk about "nice smiles".... Don't worry, no need to explain. I suppose we're all in denial about something..... Janet

Elton, that just goes to show how easy it is to take a sensible post, edit it and take it totally off the rails! Naughty boy. Consider yourself severely chastised! It may be your site, but you ought to know better than to encourage this bunch! I think we'd all do well to think very carefully about what we post, and try to make sure that visitors don't get the wrong idea. I really love this site, and as a new angler I've had loads of help from various members, for which I'll be eternally grateful, but if I'd looked at it at the wrong time, I may well have been put off completely. Let's all please be just a little bit more aware of what we're posting, and how it may be viewed by newcomers. I'm not advocating any form of censorship, just a little more care in what and how we post. Janet

Not particularly difficult I assume, but very time consuming, and possibly resulting in the thread not making sense any more. Just where do you expect the Mods to draw the line? I guess it was far easier for them just to lock it than have to faff around and try to make it more acceptable. Let's just face it - it started off as a good thread, then went downhill rapidly due to one or two muppets. It's not been totally removed. It's still there for all to view, and for us to comment on with this new thread. It's not censorship, just damage limitation! Remember guys, the mods on here do it for love not money! They do their best, and they do it exceptionally well considering the vast diversity of people and posts that we have on here. I haven't seen one locked topic that didn't deserve to be locked for one reason or another. I think it's grossly unfair to have a go at our Mods if we can't keep ourselves on topic and posting sensibly. I think many of us perhaps get too involved and forget that this is a totally open forum, where anyone can view. Let's keep it a site that we can be proud of. Janet

Oh come on guys. Chill out! What's done is done, and there's no point getting your knickers in a twist over it. Chalk it down to experience, or the way this thread is going, it will end up getting locked too. I reported the thread to the Mods, as I felt that some of the comments were distasteful and were letting the site down. I'm sure I wasn't the only one to do so. Janet

Fabulous pics. Those kids obviously had a day that they'll never forget. I'll bet that some of those smiles will last forever. Well done Jacksprat for encouraging those youngsters, and Newt, thanks for posting that on here, to remind us all what fishing is, or should be, all about. It's not always about catching, is it? Janet

"Excerpts from a Dog's Diary" 8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing! 10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing! 12:00pm - Lunch! My favourite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing! 5:00pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing! "Excerpts from a Cat's Diary" Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now... Janet