Joke.

[Guest Ferret1959]

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil

is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil.

"You are on my list but I have no room for you."

"You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do."

"I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one

of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who

leaves.

 

George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened

the first room: in it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept

diving in and surfacing empty-handed over and over and over. Such was his

fate in hell.

"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't

think I could do that all day long."

 

The devil led him to the next room: in it was Tony Blair with a

sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer,

time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I

would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!"

commented George.

 

The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton, lying on

the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in

spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does

best.

George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said,

"Yeah, I can handle this."

 

 

The devil smiled and said... "OK, Monica, you're free to go!"

[Little Tinca]

Something to watch out for.

[Vince]

[severus]

 

Here's another:

 

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door. Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet, with the little boy. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is."

 

Boy - "I have a baseball."

 

Man - "That's nice."

 

Boy - "Want to buy it?"

 

Man - "No, thanks."

 

Boy - "My dad's outside."

 

Man - "OK, how much?"

 

Boy - "$250"

 

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

 

Boy - "Dark in here."

 

Man - "Yes, it is."

 

Boy - "I have a baseball glove."

 

The man, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"

 

Boy - "$750."

 

Man - "Fine."

 

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and play catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

 

Boy - "$1,000."

 

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take

you to church and make you confess."

 

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again."