You can tell it's high summer...

[Bruno Broughton]

... when the media carry a ludicrous story about fish. Happens every year, as surely as the motorway snarl-ups, the hosepipe bans (next week, methinks) and French ferry staff going on strike.

 

This year? The swan-killing monster of Martins Mere, near Southport. This, it is said, has been confirmed by "experts" (them again) to be a wels catfish, possibly "seven feet long and weighing 24 stone".

 

I have just heard some quasi-scientist utter total guff on Radio 5 Live about "low metabolic rate" of a catfish which is able to live for 80+ years because it lies immobile in the mud until "a meal swims into its mouth".

 

I guess the swans must be the diving kind then. And if you listen carefully, children, you can hear them still honking in the catfish's stomach.

 

Roll on "Invasion by killer ladybirds/pink frogs/Euro-wasps" and "Cor, what a scorcher!" and all the other tabloid trash that makes summer in the UK such a depressing charade.

 

Did you know that fish can get sunburnt? No, really - they can. Where's that copy of Brad - The Sun will love this!

 

[ 27 July 2002, 11:38 PM: Message edited by: Bruno Broughton ]

[chesters1]

its the press silly season ,now that the politico`s have gone on their lovely long holidays ,their isnt much sleaze to put in the paper ,so look out for all the repeats ,urban legends and bullshine appearing if it wasnt for page 3 i wouldnt even bother buying one

[Guest NickInTheNorth]

Oh yes. It is silly season, and everywhere you turn there will be heart warming, amusing and just plain daft stories.

 

It's not even just the papers, the

BBC 6 O'Clock News are planning a series of "follow-up" features on stories they have covered in the last year or so.

 

If there is no new "news" why not shorten the program rather than fill it with old "news".

[Jim Roper]

chesters1:

its the press silly season ,now that the politico`s have gone on their lovely long holidays

It will be interesting to see whether Blair and Dyke will allow their BBC poodle to cover the Centrefire pistol competition at the Commonwealth Games now that the British public are no longer allowed to take part in the sport.

 

Jim Roper

 

http://www.searchlineuk.com/FishList.htm

http://www.weymouth.gov.uk

[chesters1]

i am surpised that a few freedom fighters wer`nt draughted in as "essential workers" to fill the gap ,probably couldnt find any that could distinguish targets from people

 

[ 28 July 2002, 10:35 PM: Message edited by: Alan Roe ]