Poetry contest- Redneck Vs Yale graduate

[spangles]

The National poetry contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas.They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word, and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu."

First to recite his poem was the yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

 

Slowly across the desert sand

Trekked a lonely caravan;

Men on camels, two by two

Destination Timbuktu.

 

The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

 

Me and Tim a huntin` went.

Met three whores in a pop up tent

They was three, and we was two,

So i bucked one, and Timbuktu.

 

The redneck won hands down.

 

[ 16 April 2002, 07:20 PM: Message edited by: spangles ]

[Newt]

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough,as they could not afford a larger bed.

 

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

 

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

 

The Alabaman said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

 

Trust me," said the doctor.

 

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

 

"1"

 

"2"

 

"3"

 

"4"

 

"5"

 

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and continued counting on his other hand.

 

Note: This procedure also works in Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, and West Virginia.

[spangles]

roflmao