"Ol' Fred"

[Colin Brett]

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital,

near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.

 

As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.

 

The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then suddenly died.

 

The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that

time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

 

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

 

He opened the note, and read, "Please step to your left -- you're standing on my oxygen tube!"

 

Colin

[Gray-Catchpole]

typical of a "fek drink girls" man

 

very good

[Alan Fawcett]

Three taff farmhands cross the border & pile into the first pub they find.

 

After drinking a few pints they decide its time to pick a fight.

 

They see a scrawney little fella who's been sat in the corner all night by himself.

 

They decide to see who can get a fight out of him, the first one goes upto the bloke n says "i hear St George was a shirt lifter" the bloke looks at him but says nothing.

 

So the second one goes upto the bloke & says "i hear St George was a raving pervert who'd only sh*g animals" again the bloke looks at him & says nothing.

 

The third one goes up & says "I hear St George was really a welshman"

The fella looks up & says "yeah thats what your mates said".