Honeymoon (first night)

[spangles]

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of there honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing.

 

When the bridegroom removed his socks his new wife asked,"what`s wrong with your feet? Your toes look all tangled and weird.Why are your feet like that?"

 

"I had tolio as a child" he answered.

 

"You mean polio?" she asked.

 

"No tolio" he insisted, "the disease only affected my toes".

 

The bride was satisfied with his explanation and they continued to undress.

 

As the groom took off his trousers, his new bride wrinkled up her nose.

"whats wrong with your Knees? They`re all lumpy and deformed!"

 

"As a child i had kneaslse"he explained.

 

"you mean measles?" she asked.

 

"no kneasles" he explained," A strange illness that only affected my knees."

 

The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer. The undressing continued, and her new husband removed his underwear.

 

She looked at him and shaking her head she said,"Dont tell me...let me guess... small cox???"

 

[Newt]

Good one Spangles. Classic too. I haven't seen that one for well over 30 years. Good to see it surface again.

 

***************************************

 

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground, when he finally gets himself to the doctor.

 

He says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin in every way."

 

The doc said , "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."

 

So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.

 

The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them.

 

She says, "You are my FIRST, no one has ever touched these breasts."

 

He whips down his pants and says...

" Look at this, it's still in the CRATE!"

 

[ 02 April 2002, 06:40 PM: Message edited by: Newt ]

[spangles]

Nice one Newt