Too Much Success?

[Newt]

Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father O'Rafferty.

 

"Top o' the mornin' to ye," said the Father, "Aren't you Mrs. O'Donovan?

Didn't I marry ye and yer husband two years ago?"

 

She replied "Aye, that ye did, Father."

 

"And be there any wee ones yet?"

 

"No, not yet, Father," Mrs. O'Donovan said.

 

"Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for ye."

 

"Oh, thank ye, Father."

 

They parted ways.

 

Some years later they met again.

 

"Well, now, Mrs. O'Donovan," the priest said. "How are ye these days?"

 

"Oh, very well," said she.

 

"And tell me," he said. "Have ye any wee ones yet?"

 

"Oh, yes, Father," Mrs. O'Donovan replied. "Three sets of twins and four singles -- 10 in all."

 

"Aye, that's wonderful!" he said. "And how is your lovely husband?"

 

"Oh," she said. "E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle

[PH]

An American was telling one of his favorite jokes to a group of friends. "Hell is a place where the cooks are British, the waiters are French, the policemen are Germans, and the trains are run by Italians."

 

The lone European in the group pondered all this for a second and responded, "I can't say about the police and the trains, but you're probably right about going out to eat. A restaurant in Hell would be one where the cooks are British and the waiters are French - and the customers are all Americans."

[little onions]

Colleen is living with her mam on a remote farm in the wilds of Co.Galway. She is heavily pregnant.

Mam: Colleen,pet, I have to go to the big town for provisions, I'll be gone for most of the day, if your child decides to come ye'll have to walk the mile and a half to the telephone and call Dr.O'Dwyer.

Sure enough mam is only gone an hour and Colleen's waters break. She staggers to the phone and explains to the doctor.

Dr: O.K. Colleen, where are ye ringing from?

Colleen: From me knickers to me socks, Doctor.