jayson69

took em nearly a week for the english version maybe thereßs a job for me in it? BTW beginning of May is the next press release concerning Sir Bob´s future (you heard it here first! )

bolo fishing is defently is my view, the best way to tackle deep rivers, when wanting to use rod and reel. the floats " Cralussa bolo" are my favourites! The float will allow you to hold back without it drifting in across the flow

For Fox Sake mate, don`t ask me to spread rumours

sorry, here is the link, I did´nt post to much info as I thought it would be old news on this site: LINK the link is in german, but basically says, Sir Bob will be leaving end of April, after 20 years of service. and that he is looking at new challenges. rumours are flying at who is his new employer, as they are just rumours, then I won´t mention which firm!

read it on a german fishing forum: press release is also on Zebco site.

Hello all, A friend of mine in Germany, is quite fasinated with carp Commercial fishing in England (big bags of Carp on the pole) and would like to know if anyone can recommend some good viewing material? (DVD`s) Thanx Jayson

lovely jubely wicker dave! yes it´s disgusting how the system taught us back then. Why did´nt they just say, pay attencion lad, this maths lesson will improve your fishing boy! Ok from A (rod tip) to B (feed) is the 39.56 Meters OK shall measure that out, clip up, cast out. Now when I have to say, wind in 3 meters of slack, then I shall just clip off and add 3 meters right? why not feed with rod? time lads time. after work bait up and scarper before dark! Another reason.... I want to introduce (In summer say) maximum bait in minimal time during our little competitions! (they last only 3 hours) what do you think of this then chaps, might not be as exact as when using the rod, but 1/2 an hour advantage over fellow anglers a wot?

wowww cheers chaps! so this is the formlar right thanks again! 11 meter yes, it´s a gravel pit in north Germany! thx again Jayson P.S oh yeah, I did mention that I was a bit of a thicko...... how do you calculate the above then. I do have a square root button on the calculater Please, step by step for dummies

Hi, I have a question, which makes you wished that you payed more attension at skool ! I prebait a swim with use of a catapult at 38 meters! (tested on the bank) I wish to hit this distance with the feeder rod. Water is 11 meters deep. tip of rod will be level with the bank. The Question: How long should the line be, from tip of rod to cage feeder? that I come onto the prebaited point? (and staying there, after taking up all slack line) thanx in advance (and please keep it simple !) Jayson

Mine would be Distance Waggler Fishing. Something that I had tried and got so wrong, and so the rods went to the Cellar for a year or two! Went on a course last summer, then went fishing with someone "in the know" and now the match rod is one of the 1st out the bag! Even if the feeder proves more successful on a certain water, I still like to tackle it with the match rod, (when pleasure fishing) distances upto 50 meters can be challenging, but when it works, then its good fun. A method of fishing that is loathed, is mainly because we don´t know and understand how it is done properly. We try it once or twice, balls it up, and tend to slag the method off. Understand how it really works and its Happy days!

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt. As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and feet, he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin.��She did... And the gorilla was about to tear the bars down. "Now... Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips. Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut. "Now. TELL HIM YOU HAVE A FU(KING HEADACHE."

check out the exhaust!

Grab ya cloat mate!

TRAFALGAR Hardy: "Aye, aye sir." Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: "Sorry sir?" Nelson (reading aloud): "' England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.' - What gobbledegook is this?" Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting ' England ' past the censors, lest it be considered racist." Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco." Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments." Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the mainbrace to steel the men before battle." Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government's policy on binge drinking." Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it ........... full speed ahead." Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water." Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest please." Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir." Nelson: "What?" Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness; and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected." Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy." Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck Admiral." Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd." Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled." Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card." Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency." Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons." Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?" Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy." Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral." Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!" Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks." Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?" Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not." Nelson: "We're not?" Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation." Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil." Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report." Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King." Hardy: "Not any more, Sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life" Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?" Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment." Nelson: "What about sodomy?" Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir." Nelson: "In that case............................... kiss me, Hardy.”

Maybe it´s just me, but I don´t seem to be able to find any info from the weekends World Championship in Hungary. Am I looking in the right place? here a few results anyway: World champion......Alan Scotthorne winners Italy 2nd Belgium 3rd Hungary 4th Wales 5th England full results can be found here

look like littlewoods have sussed our little secret! no longer available

LONDON BOMB 'NOT SCARY ENOUGH', BROWN TELLS MI5 PRIME Minister Gordon Brown has dismissed the latest London bomb scare as "feeble" and "unlikely to frighten the public". Brown compared MI5 to the cast of 'Police Academy' Mr Brown is understood to be disappointed with MI5's effort, describing it as "half-arsed and transparent". A source close to Brown said: "The PM wanted to start things off by scaring the absolute, holy **** out of people. "A badly driven Merc with a couple of gas bottles in the back does not cut the mustard. "We asked for Arabic literature on the passenger seat, a map of Whitehall with big red crosses on it and a huge controlled explosion on live television. Someone will be getting their backside felt for this." The source added: "We're trying to introduce ID cards, imprisonment without trial and swingeing restrictions on freedom of speech. "We wouldn't be able to force through new parking regulations on the back of this pile of arse." Police say they are looking for "a man" in connection with the incident in London's Haymarket. A Metropolitan Police spokesman said: "Our investigations are currently centred on a man. If you see a man you should react with complete terror and run screaming into the nearest busy shop or pub."

Council tax re-evaluers want to charge us more if we live in a nice area. That ought to mean discounts for those of us who live in rough areas. We have a huge council house in our street. The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of fierce dogs. Her car isn't taxed or insured, and doesn't even have a number plate, but the police still do nothing. Her bad tempered old man is famous for upsetting foreigners with racist comments. A shopkeeper blames him for ordering the murder of his son and his son's girlfriend, but nothing has been proved yet. All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest, who everyone thought was gay. Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army but are always seen out in nightclubs. The family's odd antics are always in the papers. They are out of control. .......... Honestly - who'd live near Windsor Castle?

German for runaways! Pike - Hecht Perch - Barsch Roach - rotauge rudd - rotfeder chub - Döbel barbel - barben gudgeon - grundling Orfe - Aland Forelle - trout......regenbogen/rainbow,bach/brook, und und und Bachsaibling,lachsforelle,meer forelle Sturgeon - Stör ah yes, and the bream has 3 german names (not including nicknames) brasse, brachse or blei any more for any more? ah yes and "Puff" was my 2nd german word, Brothel came a close to Beer!

OK OK here we go here we go here we go....... clicky clicky to make biggy!

I get it! the reason Patty is here! she is planning her next book, where a german Vampire visits our shores for fresh sport! Kills off an entire forum of fishermen, Nicks the complete stock of Carp from the UK, Can´t reveal too much at this point, but patty goes on, to be the next Joanne K. Rawlings :D

Baaa Humbug, blimin site won´t upload my JPG (Only 16.2KB) what am I doing wrong? the "uploading File" comes up, but nowt happens

Hope this one ain´t been done yet! Solve the riddle..............................

brit in Germany. Hubby is Husband. Ronny fitted my heating system in my Mansion, as I lived on the Mösel, many moons ago! EDIT: If you like the British people so much, come and have a peek at our website, we are an expat community of mainly Brits living in Germany: w w w . thebrits .de written together of course! hope Admin don´t mind the Plug! not a fishing site, so no competition! [admin note: we don't even mind angling sites & forums so feel free to post links as links such as your http://www.thebrits.de/ site. Newt]

hi patty, don´t forget to mention that your hubby is also a keen fisherman Gruss aus Hannover