The Beautiful South?

[awaaar]

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael the archangel found him on the seventh day resting.

He

enquired of God, "Where have you been?" God pointed downwards through

the clouds.

 

Look Michael, look what I've made" said God.

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call

it Earth and its going to be a great place of balance."

 

 

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

 

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth, "For

example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth

while

South

America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot

spot

and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of

white

people and over there is a continent of black people."

 

 

God continued, pointing to the different countries. "This one will be

extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in

ice."

 

 

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of

land

and asked, "What's that?" "Ah," said God. "That's the north of England,

the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, seven great

cities in Lancashire alone, and many impressive towns; it is the home of

the

world's

finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers, politicians and ANGLERS!

 

The people from North England are going to be modest, intelligent and

humorous and

they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely

sociable,

hardworking and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the

world as speakers of truth."

 

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about

balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!"

 

God replied very wisely, "Wait till you see the set of wa**ers I'm

putting

down South!!"

 

[ 15. July 2004, 02:51 PM: Message edited by: awaaar ]

[Alan Taylor]

 

Nice one but he did miss out the anglers with the artists etc, must have put em all down south

 

(joke) and why all the waiters down south, no decent restraunts up Nort (nother joke)

 

Alan

 

[ 15. July 2004, 02:50 PM: Message edited by: Alan Taylor ]

[bluezulu]

if i was you i would go and hide under the table for the rest of the day andy!

boy are you in trouble when them suvern to*s p*ts get home from work and read this!

whoooooooooops i`m taking cover as well!

[awaaar]

Alan - a valid point post edited

 

Bluezulu....too true, tin hat at the ready

[Alan Taylor]

Lads, its too cleaver to cause that much flack

 

Alan

[JaMiMa]

Are you refering to the likes of me blue?

 

What is it about your brummies when it comes to the this north south thing? Is it because you're in no mans land their in the midlands with no definable identity?

 

Must be careful, spose you could therefore be deemed as a minority (bit like the Welsh), and my remarks could be inflamatory.......

 

 

Now, Andy.

 

You're not in a minority being a "Northerner" so,

 

Good Joke, love it

[hembo]

i almost choked on my shandy ..... but we have have many northeners down here who love it down here ,and even though they love the north they never go back ..

[awaaar]

"i almost choked on my shandy "

 

like it

[JaMiMa]

Is that a lager shandy hembo?

 

Funny enough, not only am i surrounded by Northerners "down here", I also frequently here the dulcet tones of many a Scott - also happier where the sun DOES shine (normally) :cool:

[bluezulu]

just a minute jammy boy!

who you calling a minority pal!!!!!

and don`t you dare lump me together with `me` and his gang of welsh leek munchers!!!!

if anyones in no mans bloody land it`s you lot from milton keynes!!! thats neither south or midlands just an over spill for both!