hembo

hi rudd ,i use a similar energizer headlight and also use reflective tape and the visibility is much better when using the red light.it has now become an essential piece of kit.giving my rods a major overhaul this autumn as unable to fish for the forseeable future so will be experimentin on different ways to maximise tip visibility.red light is the way to go.

http://www.spinwatch.org.uk/blogs-mainmenu...second-jobs.the whole system is a mess .in between claiming their expenses and holding a second job,when can they be an mp?

i dont know whether anyone has said it previously but an awful lot of mps sit on boards,directorships etc.they should only be an mp how can they concentrate on representing their constituents ? one thing is certain is the silence of the political leaders,they have lost the moral highground how long before single mothers are replaced by greedy mps in the daily mail?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/newsbeat...000/7961224.stm

A scottish painter.... joke, painter, scottish There was a Scottish painter named Jock who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time, and eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings. Jock put in a bid and because his price was the lowest, he got the job. So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine. Well, Jock was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Jock clear off the scaffold to land on the grass among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint. Jock was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried: "Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?" And above the sound of thunder, a mighty voice spoke. "Repaint, Repaint, and thin no more!"

cheers ken .i am going to tempt fate but i have too wait for my current tv to die first.you are absolutely right that there are incredible bargains around and hopefully that will be the case when i have to take the plunge.

listened on radio he was second best. pacman v mayweather jnr possibility now.much as i like boxing i disapprove of these superfights mainly as it seems to discriminate against the true and upcoming boxers of weight divisions.

dont forget to flip over and do the b side.

ANOTHER PRODUCT FROM GERALD RATNER INNOVATIONS.

nautical

"This Time Next Year We'll Be Millionaires RODNEY"

i sent this to my brother in tasmania when he was illl with "MAN FLU" and he hasnt talked to me since.i think its brilliant.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once upon a time (well, more than once, actually, ...a number of times) the Carrier Pigeon Employees Union held an Iron Bird competition to honor the toughest, most dedicated specimen of avian delivery in the State of California. Only two birds made it into the final round, where each carrier pigeon had to carry a 50-pound mail pouch. First, they had to fly up over the top of Mt. Whitney, 14,500 feet high, then swoop down and fly the length of the notorious and aptly-name Death Valley in the hottest part of the summer. Each bird struggled up through Mt. Whitney's thinning air, gasping for breath as each of them successfully soared over the top of its rocky summit. From there, they proceeded down to the northern edge of Death Valley. The sun was blazing hot, scorching the moisture out of the sparse scrubby vegitation, the bleached bones of other less fortunate animals littering the barren desert floor. Onward they flew. Exhausted, feathers wilted, gasping with each dehydrated breath, these two tough competitors neared the finish line at the valley's southern-most end. The crowds of fellow carrier pigeons filling the perches along either side of the finish line loudly cheered on their favorite feathered friend. In the final quarter mile, one pigeon sprinted ahead with a final burst of energy, crossing the line to the deafening chirps of its adoring fans. In the emotinal rush of victory, it strutted around, singing out a melodious song of rejoicing. The other bird, seeing it had lost, slowed down and practially limped across the finish line, tattered and beaten down by this grueling competition. It could only chirp out a single, mournful, pitiful sound through its parched beak as it collapsed in a heap, amidst the wailing of its own supporters. All this prompted a well-known, loquatious New Yorker pigeon sportcaster who was covering the event to loudly announce into the microphone for all to hear, "Ahh....de trill of victory, and de agony of de tweet!"

very good . i wil delve into the depths and see if i can reply.

i can see a koala.bottom left.

It seems that an elephant got too close to all the baby ducks the circus had brought in for Easter, and accidentally inhaled a bunch of them. The poor elephant was choking on them and no one could help. (Ever tried doing the Heimlich on a pachyderm?) Finally the trainer goosed him -- and the elephant blew out a whole trunk full of downy feathers. Yep! That's what he gets for snorting quack.

A pastor whose hobby was carpentry had a plan for a beautiful wooden cross that would seem to float suspended in the air. He would build it in time for the Easter service, he decided. He worked out all the details, but he had no wood with which to build it, and Easter was tomorrow. Now, he was naturally short of funds as most pastors are, and besides, he lived in a small town, and there was no lumberyard open on a Saturday night nor any such thing as a Home Depot store in that area, so he was baffled as to how to accomplish his goal. Then he remembered the huge, beautiful wooden spice rack his wife had in the kitchen. If he dismantled it, he might be able to effect a scaled-down version of what he had in mind. He emptied the spices from the spice rack and put them away in a closet. Then he took down the spice rack and brought it out to his workshop in the garage, where he carefully took the wood apart and re-fashioned it into the cross he had envisioned. He already had the necessary fixtures for the suspension trick, and soon his creation was finished. By now it was the wee hours of the morning, but the pastor went into the church, fixed the "floating" cross in place, and finally went home to bed for a couple of hours' much-needed sleep. As the parishioners filed into the church the next morning for Easter services, they were all struck by the "floating" cross. Said the first parishioner to enter, "Miraculous." Echoed the second parishioner, "Miraculous!" Then the pastor's wife walked in: "My rack, you louse!"

that was a brilliant idea parking here as we cant be clamped.

A lion was prancing through the jungle one day, roaring at the top of his voice for all to hear, "I am king of the jungle, for my mighty strength and great prowess strike fear into all other creatures!" An eagle lands on a nearby tree branch and says, "Not so fast, Leo, buddy!" "For it is I who am the rightful king of the jungle, as my wings enable me to attack from above, and my beak and talons rip my victims to shreds!" Whereupon, a skunk walks calmly out of the trees. Approaching the ferocious feline and the fearful flighted one, he meekly says, "You're BOTH wrong! Needing neither fight nor flight, I disable my would-be opponents most skillfully! Wanna sniff?" And the three animals busily engaged in a heated argument over who was the rightful king of the jungle. While they were arguing, oblivious to their surroundings, a huge grizzly bear walked up and eats them all -- . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . hawk, lion, and stinker.

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request. A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice “Play a Jazz chord ! Play a jazz chord!” Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's varied career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes. When he finishes the whole place goes wild. The little old man jumps up again and shouts “No, no, play a Jazz chord, play a Jazz chord.” A bit ticked off by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise. The little old man jumps up again. “No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play a jazz chord.” Well and truly outraged that this little guy doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability, Stevie says to him from the stage “OK smart ass. You get up here and do it!” The little old man climbs up onto the stage, takes hold of the mike and starts to sing… . . . . . . . . .. . “A jazz chord to say I ruv you...”

i like to watch the deleted scenes with the producers comments ,then knowing full well that 2 years down the line the extended version will be on sell.

Old Age Alphabet -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A's for arthritis, B's the bad back, C's the chest pains - perhaps car-d-iac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line! F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention. H is high blood pressure - I'd rather it low; I is for incisions with scars you can show... J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L is for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next. N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow! P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new! Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two. S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus - there's bells in my ears! U is for urinary... big troubles with flow; V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know. W is for worry - NOW what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found; Y is another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest that I still have - in my mind. I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, and I am keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

all the very best from the hembo family.

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, I bet you can't tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time." . . . . . .. . She said, "You have the biggest penis out of all your friends."

Youtube Video ->Original Video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIpiDETsncI