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So how the first day go?

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I anticipate a plethora of posts on this subject so I'm getting in first.


Well, I arrived at chosen destination as early as club rules allow on a beautiful sunny morning. Car park was empty but somebody had thoughtfully left a BBQ gently grilling smoked prime back and toasted baps, they'd even left a bottle of brown sauce.


After a hearty breakfast I made my way to the first likely looking swim. I hadn't fished this stretch before so it was pleasing to find small white signs attached to the undergrowth, the first one read "good chub swim, pre baited with maggot for the past seven days". I moved on to the next "three pound roach a certainty, only hemp will catch" but the clincher was 50 yards downstream "fish here for barbel, make sure you have water skis"


Kylie phoned as I was setting up, she was supposed to meet me earlier so I wasn't best pleased at being let down but relented when she said that her driver hadn't shown. Danni had kindly offered to cancel her appointments for the day and bring Kylie along a bit later, two's company and all that but I felt the decent thing to do was to agree to Danni joining us.


The fishing was great, Kylie baited my hook and Danni landed the fish. Lunchtime arrived and I reckoned I was in the frame for at least four UK records (five if you include the suggestion of a "Minogue threesome", is that a fishing knot?). I realised that I'd forgotten my sandwiches and as I prepared to head off to the nearest petrol station I noticed a strange looking ensemble fumbling through the bushes.


The Producer wasn't happy at being lambasted by Raymond Blanc. Ok so the contracts were signed and the show should have gone ahead but how was the Producer supposed to know that the financiers would take a last minute exception to the programme title "Kennet Cuisine"


I stepped in as mediator and tried to placate Raymond. He'd brought along some of the finest ingredients Le Manoir has to offer but it was only when I suggested that the programme be re-titled to "Feed a Fisherman" that he calmed down. Calls were made, money changed hands and the show was on again. I stipulated that I was only prepared to release copyright to the title if the food, service and wine were up to scratch.


I enjoyed a rather pleasant lunch with the Minogue sisters, it was irritating having to fend them off every five minutes but I struggled on. Raymond looked a bit stressed when he realised how much it would cost to replenish the cellar but if you can't stand the heat etc.


The fishing took a bit of a back seat for the next couple of bottles of vintage Cabernet Sauvignon and when I finally woke up the Minogues had changed into evening gowns. Raymond was busy loading my fishing gear into the Limo's boot.


Kylie intimated that there wouldn't be enough room in the car for Raymond and whilst I quickly suspected flawed logic I agreed that he should get the bus.


How can it take five hours to travel 20 miles?


So there we have it, a rather fantastic start to the season.


Yawn......is that coffee I smell...........only three days to go.

Edited by Rusty

It's never a 'six', let's put it back

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I am looking forward to Monday evening no end (earliest opportunity I'll get), but I have a sneaking suspicion that they’ll be a few hundred other anglers that have read all the exact same articles I have, pawed over the exact same Google Earth maps I have, and pre-scouted the exact same locations I have. I’m not pretty when I sulk, be forewarned.


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