Some words and their true meanings

[Newt]

Angler - An obsessed individual who owns a house that is falling down due to neglect, an auto whose color can best be described as Rust, and a pristine boat that he chamois' down methodically before and after each trip.

 

Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his life savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings.

 

Knot - (1) An insecure connection between your hook and fishing line. (2) A permanent tangle on your spinning reel which forces you to go out and buy a bigger, better, much more expensive rig.

 

Landing Net - A net used to help drag a large wiggling fish, or an inebriated fishing buddy, on board.

 

Line - Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.

 

Live Bait - The biggest fish you'll handle all day.

 

Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.

 

Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

 

Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

 

Quiet Water - Your surroundings after you stop cursing your bad luck and fall asleep at the reel.

 

School (US for shoal)- A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for luncheon meat instead.

 

Sinker - (1) A weight attached to a lure to get it to the bottom. (2) The nickname of your boat.

 

Tackle - What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.

 

Tackle Box - A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.

 

Test - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming "that darn line" for once again losing the fish.

 

Thumb - A temporary hook holder.

 

Trolling - What you do after you've lost a $500 rod and reel set-up overboard.

[Paul_D]

[nigelnibbles]

aint that so true

[Adz]

But... but... everyone knows a hook is a device for finding your thumb in the dark corner of your tackle box...

[kleinboet]

rofl