JANET v PAUL

[Janet]

Firstly, I have a confession to make…..I’ve been whooped! TWICE!!!!!

 

Paul and I went out last Saturday to our club lake, where he managed to thrash me 7-13…..unfortunately, although I did my usual write up of the carnage, my steam-powered PC has managed to lose it, and after just getting beaten again, I’ve lost the will to start and re-write it…

 

I bow to the wisdom, skill and knowledge of a far superior angler….

 

In my defence, there were mitigating circumstances!

 

1. The sky was too blue.

2. The clouds were too low.

3. The clouds were the wrong colour.

4. The clouds weren’t fluffy enough.

5. I wasn’t wearing my lucky knickers.

6. The water was too wet.

6 My seat was too hard.

7 My seat was too high.

8 My seat was too low

9 My seat was too soft.

10 My seat was too far forward.

11 My seat was too far back.

12 My maggots were cowards.

13 The sheep were too loud.

14 It was too windy.

15 It was too calm.

16 The water was too dry.

17 My tea was too weak.

18 The singing scared the fish.

19 The singing scared the cows.

20 The singing scared me…….!!!

 

As you can see, it was obvious that I couldn’t possibly be successful with everything conspiring against me…

 

Saying that, I had a brilliant day again, although we were both a bit disappointed after the fabulous trip the week before. Still, we’d had quite a drop in temperature in the preceding days, and it was blowing a gale, which didn’t help, although it allowed Paul to catch three nice barbel and his very first chub! A lovely specimen, and it really made his day. I do find the sight of a grown man talking to and kissing a fish a bit nauseating, don’t you? Come on Paul, show a bit of decorum and restraint…..

 

I was pleased that all the fish I had were of a very good size, including these two lovely bream.

 

 

Sorry about the picture quality, but I’m still getting to grips with this new camera. I also took a couple of photo’s of a very nice golden rudd, and a lovely tench, but they are so blurred that they’re not worth posting.

 

We’ve just had a brilliant day today, where he proceeded to beat me, yet again. No complaints from me though, as I thoroughly enjoyed it. Report to follow…..

 

Cheers Paul. I had a belter of a day. Many thanks. I take back everything I’ve ever said about you….

 

Janet

[Newt]

I think some combination of #18, 19, 20 was the problem.

[Janet]

I think some combination of #18, 19, 20 was the problem.

 

You're not far wrong there Newt!

 

The repertoire ranged from "If I were a rich man" from Fiddler on the Roof, through to "Remember you're a Womble".....very surreal, especially when he threw in a bit of Simon and Garfunkel along with his loose feed, followed by some Al Jolson ditty...

 

Paul. I said ditty.....please get your ears syringed....and no, you can't have a 69 when the ice cream van comes around. I can sort you out some crushed nuts though, but if you want sprinkles, you'll have to get them yourself!

 

Pah! Men.....can't live with 'em. Not allowed to shoot 'em....

 

Janet

[Peter Waller]

I'm told that no knickers at all will often bring a girl luck!

 

I always thought that ladies had the advantage of their pheromones.

[Paulfisher]

I can only ask you to read one of last nights texts my dear.

 

Paul

[Paulfisher]

I think some combination of #18, 19, 20 was the problem.

 

That's not fare Newt. Whose side are you on? Male or female. Come on Newt we have to stick together man.

[Janet]

I can only ask you to read one of last nights texts my dear

 

I've read the texts, and I'm most offended ... it's high time we went ahead with our idea of a swear box for when we're fishing! Give me a bit of leeway though, as I'll need to sort out an overdraft first!

 

I always thought that ladies had the advantage of their pheromones

 

Well Peter, I don't know about pheromones, but I know a certain man who moans....is that the same thing?

 

Janet

[nursejudy]

very valid reasons to me Janet ..... I have a lucky bra!!!!!

[Peter Waller]

but I know a certain man who moans....is that the same thing?

Janet

 

The sumptuous NJ and her lucky bra, Janet and her lucky knickers, now a moaning man, lucky fella - - - - - - - I'm off roaching, it's far safer!