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Whew - what a relief !!

Newt

By Newt
in Non-Fishing Chat

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Newt Member

Newt

Posted
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A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labor is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.

 

"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies.

"O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife.

"No, no boyfriend either."

 

"Do you have a partner then?"

"No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own."

 

After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman.

"You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black"

 

"Well," replies the girl. "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black."

 

"Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."

 

"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?"

 

"Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes."

 

"Well yes," continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."

 

At this the midwife again apologises collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Thank God for that!"

 

"What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.

 

"WHEW!" says the girl extremely relieved...

"I had this horrible feeling that it was going to bark!"

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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chesters1 Member

chesters1

Posted
Posted

gives doggy style a whole new meaning :D

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

None of this "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" crap it just means i have at least two enemies!

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Mathew 4:19

Grangers law : anything i say will  turn out the opposite or not happen at all!

Life insurance? you wont enjoy a penny!

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." Thomas Jefferson

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poledark Member

poledark

Posted
Posted

Ooher, thats rude isn't it? :D:D:D

 

Den

"When through the woods and forest glades I wanderAnd hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees;When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur,And hear the brook, and feel the breeze;and see the waves crash on the shore,Then sings my soul..................

for all you Spodders. https://youtu.be/XYxsY-FbSic

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