Joke email

[Dan]

Havent seen this one before!!

 

 

> > Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy.

> > Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.

> > He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an

> > E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2

> > on your FM dial in Ft Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job

> > experience contest.

> >

> > Needless to say, she won.

> >

> > --------------------------------------------------------------------

> >

> > Hi Sue,

> >

> > Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a

>bad

> > day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so

> > I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's

> > not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I

> > first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

> >

> > As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to

>the

> > office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So

>what

> > we do to keep warm is this:

> >

> > We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece

> > of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a

> > delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a

> > garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a

> > darn good plan,

>and

> > I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get

> > to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down

> > the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.

> > It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

> >

> > Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my arse started to

> > itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

> > Within a few seconds my arse started to burn. I pulled the hose out

> > from my back, but the damage was done.

> >

> > In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had

> > sucked

>up

> > a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

> >

> > Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't

> > stick to it. However, the crack of my arse was not as fortunate.

> >

> > When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding

> > the jellyfish into the crack of my arse. I informed the dive

> > supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator His instructions were

> > unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were

> > all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.

> >

> > I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops

> > totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to

> > begin

>my

> > chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was

> > wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water,

> > the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a

> > tube of cream and told me to rub it on my arse as soon as I got in the

>

> > chamber.

> >

> > The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poo for two days because my

>

> > arse was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work,

> > think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved

> > up your backside!

> >

> > Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my......

 

[ 27. August 2003, 11:25 PM: Message edited by: Dan ]

[*Ant*]

love it!

[Ed Matysiak]