The Parrot

[Alan Stubbs]

A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot.

The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot.

 

"What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, and it's an absolute steal at only £50."

 

"Why is it that cheap?" the woman asks.

 

"Well", replies the assistant, "it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity".

 

"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up,

 

"I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot".

 

In saying this, she buys the parrot and takes him home.

 

Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman.

 

"F**k me, a new brothel and a new madam"

 

"I'm not a madam and this isn't a brothel" scolds the woman trying not to laugh.

 

A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home.

 

"Un-f**king-believable. A new brothel, a new madam, and now two new prostitutes" says the parrot when he sees the daughters.

 

"Mum, tell your parrot to shut-up, we're not prostitutes" complain the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.

 

They were still all laughing when the woman's husband Dave comes home. "In-f**king-credible, a new brothel, a new madam, new prostitutes, but the same old clients. How's it hangin', Dave?"

Edited December 1, 2005 by Alan Stubbs

[Guest Jan V]

[DavyR]

Did you notice that the woman and her daughters were nameless, but the husband was called Dave? Hmmmm.....

[Sportsman]

Now if I was the paranoid type

Dave

[Alan Stubbs]

Nothing Personal! I promise.

 

Not been around for the last week or so, due partly to the new job, and also because I have had problems with my left eye.

 

I'm allergic to cat and dog fur, and it seems that somehow I got a dog hair in my eye which reacted really badly. 2 lots of 4 hour i/v antibiotic , eye baths every 4 hours then antibiotic ointment afterwarsd. The trouble is that with the ointment in the eye, 1) it stings and 2) I can't bloody see!

 

Get the abuse in quick whilst I can't read!