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A kindly Lawyer

Newt

By Newt
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Newt Member

Newt

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One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

 

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said. "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree." "Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

 

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, too." The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!" "Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

 

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

 

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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poledark Member

poledark

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If I were a lawyer, I would be saying "Ouch" :) :)

 

Den

"When through the woods and forest glades I wanderAnd hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees;When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur,And hear the brook, and feel the breeze;and see the waves crash on the shore,Then sings my soul..................

for all you Spodders. https://youtu.be/XYxsY-FbSic

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Westie Member

Westie

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If I were a lawyer, I would be saying "Ouch" :) :)

 

Den

 

I am a lawyer - that one was pretty nice to us, really.

 

You've got to love lawyer jokes:

 

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead solicitor?

 

A: There are skid marks in front of the dog's body.

 

Q: Why won't sharks attack solicitors?

 

A: Professional courtesy.

 

Q: What's black and brown and look good on a solicitor?

 

A: Dobermans

 

Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a solicitor?

 

A: One's a scum sucking bottom dweller; the other is a fish.

 

Q: What's the difference between a duck and a solicitor?

 

A: Occasionally, a duck will stick its bill up its ar$e.

Edited by Westie

Westie.

 

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

 

Visit My Photo Gallery

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severus Member

severus

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Good ones. My favorite one, to be told when the weather is cold:

 

Very cold this morning. I saw my lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

Be good and you will be lonely.
~ Mark Twain

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