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all, When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison. * * * * * * * * * * * * To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it. * * * * * * * * * * * * Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight. * * * * * * * * * * * * When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago. * * * * * * * * * * * * I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. * * * * * * * * * * * * I had my patience tested. I'm negative. * * * * * * * * * * * * Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers. * * * * * * * * * * * * If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?" * * * * * * * * * * * * When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing. * * * * * * * * * * * * I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever. * * * * * * * * * * * * I run like the winded. * * * * * * * * * * * * I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on. * * * * * * * * * * * * When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?" * * * * * * * * * * * * When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery? * * * * * * * * * * * * I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited. * * * * * * * * * * * * When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east." * * * * * * * * * * * * Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out. * * * * * * * * * * * * My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb. Phone pinched from FB

They need tyres with fishing tips on! TRY LUG TIPPED WITH SQUID ON A 3/0 http://motoringdeals.com/motoring-news/tide-tracks-ford-helps-the-rnli-spread-water-safety-messages/

ALL, Seems somewhat appropriate after 44 years in business, at one time long ago I had 400 employees. that it is once again the labour force's willingness to tell me how my business should be run. It was my most common and aggravating experience to listen to the chaps who bitched the most - happened to be the same ones who backed up for their check. Phone

Society has changed in some very bad ways Education isnt what it was ,the kids are brought up on technology rather than using their brains to work things out ,kids actually dont need to learn anything ,the answer to most things is on the phones ! The answer that is not how it was achieved so its short cutted the important bit . The modern tax system is a joke ,millions of people not paying a penny in tax (look at the addresses on ebay sellers ,private addresses !do they tell tell the tax man they are selling stuff?) If you run a business from home it is a business property do they pay tax on the 'office' or 'wharehouse' like other bigger companies probably not so the council loses out and is in fact encouraged by the council not demanding business taxes.Think of the millions lost there. The councils now give out houses to anyone going by the looks of it,drunks especially my mum in laws warden assisted flats were half full of drunks causing problems ,they were not old they were drunks and rewarded by having a place to be drunk in by the council. The council seem to have lost the p!ot ,we had a letter from them asking if we would like to part own our house the stupidity was they helped people in council houses with an income up to £80,000 a year! Sorry if you earn enough to be above the national wage you should be evicted not ****ing encouraged to buy your house at a cut down price already! Council housing should be means tested once you get the imcome where you can afford to rent outside out you go like everyone else so more deserving people get a chance of a roof ovef their heads. There seems to be a generation of young with no sense of consequence of their actions ,no punishment for doing things with bad consequences other than a thumbs down on youtube . The po!ice only appear to react to crime not prevent crime incase it provokes the lefties ,the courts do bugger all if anyone actually gets caught ,pain changes most people not picking up litter for a weekend or more like its a warning forgotten before the criminal gets out the building . Theres a class of people with more rights than the masses (no besides the richest) that laws do not apply to ,i call them illegal immigrants waiting to get a decision far in the future (the decision dictates if they are now here legaly)mostly men ! Ask your son to pop off to the council and demand to be housed security will have them out in a minute ,go to the dole and demand money without looking for work ,same will happen ,doesnt matter if you have put money in the pot it changes nothing ,now get in a dingy and go 12 miles from france and dial 999 you will get a far different response you will be treated like royalty not treated like dirt as you are if you live here for generations ,go knock at hour local 4* hotel and demand to be housed and fed wjth a bit of pocket money and the police will be called! As i said elsewhere luckily i will be dead soon and shot of this crazy planet

RNLI were the only charity i used to give to but they have lost their direction ,it appears they dont want uk residents to enjoy splashing about near the shore in their hard earned holidays but have no qualms encouraging thousands of foreigners in their ones trying to cross the channel by acting as a meet and greet charity 3" outside french waters .never again!