Arizona

[Jeff S]

A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Prescott, AZ. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly

at a full bowl of chili. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

 

The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, go ahead." Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately sets the spoon into the bowl.

 

The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."

[Newt]

An old cowboy dressed to kill with a cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs, and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.

 

As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink, she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" To which he replied, "Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences. I guess I am."

 

After a short while, he asked her what she was. She replied, "I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women."

 

A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

 

To which he replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A tough old Texas cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously and lived to the age of 110.

 

He left behind 4 children, 20 grand-children, 30 great-grandchildren, 10 great-great-grand-children and a fifty-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

[captain cojones]

love the second one newt!!!1

[poledark]

where do you get them from Newt..

 

love 'em,

 

Den

[Vagabond]

Same here Newt, I don't take gunpowder, but sup a small dose of nitroglycerine from time to time - better to go with a bang than a whimper.