Darwin awards 2003

[Steve Randles]

First Place

 

When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

 

And now, the Honorable Mentions:

 

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a

blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken

the space. Understandably, he shot her.

 

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found

that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare

to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver

went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.

He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff

that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The

deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

 

A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?)

 

A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F**K-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent.

Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over

laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a F**K-up!"

 

Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that

he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some

booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head

at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on

the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made

of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

 

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her

purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to

give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the Culprit. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

 

Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. They were quickly arrested.

 

And My personal favorite

 

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the

man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

[Paul_D]

Excellent....

[Chris Plumb]

Ahh yes - but they are mainly urban legends. For example see here and here The real Darwin Awards - which are usually meticulously researched for authenticity can be viewed here 2002 Darwin Awards (Truth is stranger than fiction!)

 

The Darwin Awards - so named because it 'celebrates' people dieing in particularly stupid ways - hence removing themselves from the Gene Pool is an internet legend in its self. Next years sees it's 10th anniversary making it something of a grand mother of internet sites!!!

 

(Tis also one of my personal favs - must make me something of a sickie!!!)

 

 

Chris