I Am King Of The Jungle........

[hembo]

A lion was prancing through the jungle one day, roaring at the top of his voice for all to hear, "I am king of the jungle, for my mighty strength and great prowess strike fear into all other creatures!"

 

An eagle lands on a nearby tree branch and says, "Not so fast, Leo, buddy!" "For it is I who am the rightful king of the jungle, as my wings enable me to attack from above, and my beak and talons rip my victims to shreds!"

 

Whereupon, a skunk walks calmly out of the trees. Approaching the ferocious feline and the fearful flighted one, he meekly says, "You're BOTH wrong! Needing neither fight nor flight, I disable my would-be opponents most skillfully! Wanna sniff?"

 

And the three animals busily engaged in a heated argument over who was the rightful king of the jungle. While they were arguing, oblivious to their surroundings, a huge grizzly bear walked up and eats them all

 

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-- hawk, lion, and stinker.

[Chris Plumb]

Groan!

 

Meanwhile back in the Zoo - the head keeper was having a clear up. First of all he cleaned up the beehives - unfortunately he knocked one over squashing dozens of bees. He swept them up and fed them to the Lions. Next in the aquarium one of the oxygenators was on the blink and quite a few fish had gone belly up. Never mind - more food for the Lions thinks the keeper. Finally poor mummy Chimp - who was pregnant , gave birth to still born twins - again these were fed to the Lions.

 

The Lions looked at their meal - and one said to the other.....

 

 

 

I see we've got Fish, Chimps and Mushy Bees for tea again....

 

 

C.

[five bellies]

A Bear sitting in the woods having a Dump,

 

A Rabbit hops by and cordualy greats the Bear, Whatch ya! Bear says the Rabbit.

 

Hi Rabbit says the Bear,

 

what are you doing asks the Rabbit?

 

Having a Poo says the Bear,

 

OH! says the Rabbit

 

The Bear asks..... Rabbit when you poop does it get all stuck in your fur?

 

No not at all ! says the Rabbit a bit bemused

 

At this the Bear smiles Picks up the Rabbit and cleans his Bum useing the Rabbit like a wad of tiolet paper and says well in that case you wont mind if I do this then !!!!

 

These nettle leaves are murder on my Ar5e.

Edited October 19, 2008 by five bellies