American's have feelings too

[Newt]

I didn't want to hijack Huge's interesting and important topic on what is politically correct in the theater but I know that many of our members try very hard to be PC themselves and to urge others to do the same.

 

We all know there are some cultural differences between the UK and the US and it is too easy to accidently say things that could be offensive to folk across the pond so here are a few things that might help you avoid unintended slurs.

 

Note that these are correct today but given the amazing speed of changes in what is or is not PC, I can't say they will still be correct in a month or three.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

 

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

 

2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER' - She is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.'

 

3. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

 

4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

 

5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

 

6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD' - She is 'REALITY IMPAIRED.'

 

7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY' - She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'

 

8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS' - She is 'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.'

 

9. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

 

10. She is not a 'TRAMP' - She is 'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.'

 

11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS' - She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.'

 

12 She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

 

 

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

 

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

 

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

 

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

 

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

 

5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER' - He prefers 'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.'

 

6. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK' - He becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.'

 

7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION'

 

8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG' - He has 'SWINE EMPATHY.'

 

9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT' - He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.'

 

10. He is not 'HORNY' - He is 'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.'

 

11. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE'

 

Please use your best judgment when referring to these people, so as to make it more comfortable for the rest of us.

[captain cojones]

[Guest Jan V]

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

 

Oh, that's what that is. Now that you have about as much grain stored as Miller Brewing Company does, can you sell and make a profit?

[Huge_Vitae]

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

 

Don't know about the rest of you but I have a patch on the top of my head where I had a solar panel installed. That's my excuse any way.

[Newt]

Solar panel - so, would that class as a Green Follicle Regression?

[Huge_Vitae]

Solar panel - so, would that class as a Green Follicle Regression?

Nope, just a solar panel.

[Newt]

Interesting. I didn't know ya'll ever actually saw the sun.

[merlino bill]

Nope, just a solar panel.

 

OI OI,

I have the same solar panel but mine is for a sex machine.

 

[Guest Rabbit]

Interesting. I didn't know ya'll ever actually saw the sun.

I saw it once, it frightened the hell out of the dogs, never did see it again

[Huge_Vitae]

Interesting. I didn't know ya'll ever actually saw the sun.

That shows how limited your knowledge of 'British Weather' is.

 

This morning, when I let the chooks out at 6am, I didn't put on my 'Barbour,' didn't need it over my shirt and jumper, I decided against the thermal hat and just wore a plain wool knitted one, AND, even the thermal gloves got dropped in favour of my fingerless knitten ones.

 

And it's only mid-april so there.

Edited April 17, 2008 by Huge_Vitae