Paul_D

Let's hope it get a lot worse....!!!

Peter, quote: Tinca, perhaps that coincides with the yarns that your Grandad told you. Many a young angler, born pre 1950, cut their teeth on a tank aerial. Not to be mocked Tinca! They were the legendary days of Mr Crabtree. We devoured his writings, a tank aerial was a route to the riverbank. I'm not mocking the Tank Aerial, I'm well aware that they were used extensively. I mocked my Grandad and if you had had the chance to listen to him you would have too. He'd have you believe that you could fashion a decent fly rod out of one too and put a dry Greenwells on a sixpence with it.... But he was a proper fisherman in spirit though.

The good old Tank Aerial...My Grandad used to tell me about using those....Still don't believe him but he spun a good yarn.

I absolutely hate telephones of all kinds...and I'm actually paid to make the things work in the first place. Is it the Glenmorangie advert on the telly where matey throws his Mobile over his shoulder into the Loch?.....Fantastic..!! P.S. the wife does the thank you notes...

I thought Jackie Ballard was pretty ineffectual tonight. She seems quite bitter at not being an M.P. anymore with several referals to her being lobbied by former constituents etc but with fewer references to her role as the head of the RSPCA. Anyhow, she didn't contribute a great deal to the programme......I expect her ex-husband feels like the fox that got away too.....

It's Womens work.....

I've had a pretty cr@p fishing year to be honest with just a few exceptions, one of which was..... She went off like a train adding to a very pleasant day.

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..." As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While out swimming alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't believe his luck. Justin figured that the fish could change him back into a prawn. He begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold, he is turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me,Justin,your old friend, come out and see me again. Christian replied "No way man, you'll eat me.You're a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked." Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.". . . . . . . . .(wait for it) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "I've found Cod, I'm a prawn again,Christian".

It's difficult to believe that such stone age beliefs still exist in the 21st Century. It's even more difficult to comprehend that after finishing such a meal there are people around who want to inflict high tech weapons of mass destruction on the rest of the world.

Cold tea works amazingly well on Prunes as well. See Deliah's Prunes in Armagnac stuffing recipe for the Christmas Goose......Beats a Turkey hands down for me.....I just hate all that washing up after I've devastated the kitchen though.

quote: teachers ....pesky students. Ha Ha....my Missus is a Deputy Head Teacher and it's coming up to Xmas party time.....Teachers don't half bite easily after a bit of alcoholic induced teasing on the subject of easy life/holidays etc.

I remember messing around with my oldest daughter and dropping her on her head. She was alarmingly quiet, didn't even cry, so we took her to casualty for a check up. I felt a complete t*at for letting it happen but because we had to wait a fair while before a Doc could look at her (after an initial check up by a Sister in reception) she was back to her normal self by then so we felt a bit like fraudsters. It's a traumatic thing this having kids lark at times....Hope all's well with your lad and I hope the NHS staff get a huge pay rise (well at least the front line staff).

I've always found a water knot to be the neatest way, but, being a luddite, I haven't a clue how to post a link for you.....A search of Google will produce the necessary.

CHRISTMAS CAKE Ingredients: 1 cup of water 1 tsp baking soda 1 cup of sugar 1 tsp salt 1 cup of brown sugar lemon juice 4 large eggs nuts 1 bottle of vodka 2 cups of dried fruit Sample the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill ok Try another cup...just in case Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the! cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with drewscriver. Sample the vodka to check for ton sisticicity. Next, sift two cups of salt. or something. Who giveshz a tosh. Check the vodka. Now shift the lemon juice and str ain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Place the smixture into a sorcerp an--thats like a phlyingpan with higher sidesss---turn the sorcerpan 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Fi nally, throw the bowl through the window, Finish the! vodka and kick the cat. CHERRY MISTMAS!

quote: You mean... you too can manage a bottle of scotch a day for twenty years before needing a liver transplant on the NHS then? ;-) Naah...It'll take me nearly all Christmas to finish the bottle of Macallan bought the other day

quote: there's precious little actual football played these days eh? But they did in the days of George Best and he was by far the very best....and I ain't a ManUre or Northern Ireland fan. He certainly inspired me as a youngster aspiring to emulate him so that's good enough for me.

She epitomises the concept of sportmanship and seems to be a very nice lady to boot......and well done George Best on the night as well.

I've recently been toying with the idea of buying one of those Black Widow catapult type things and some ball bearings as I tend to come across lots of Gooseander and Mink plundering the fish unhindered. I probably wouldn't ever hit one but I was wandering what the deterent value would be. We don't seem to get many Cormarants around these parts thankfully, however, interestingly I did come across a festering carcass of one on the river bank earlier this year. I couldn't establish the cause of death but hopefully it's companions witnessed it........

Having similar problems myself Elton.......

quote: Before you buy one though, put the one you are buying up in the shop. Some of them go up in seconds, and others are a bit of a struggle. Very interesting that Peter, I bought an evo classic more than two years ago and have never used it in anger as I can't get the thing up in less than 15 minutes....Oh well you live and learn!

My attempts at a Daddy.....With the best will in the world I could not pass them as looking like the real fly.