Jeff S

lol this was the one that Cranfield tried to post. Good one, pretty accurate too.

I've been Taken.

A South American Scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with not enough sexual activity read their e-mails with the right hand on the mouse.. Don't bother taking it off, it's too late......

Some adware automatically change your homepage settings in your browser. If you are using IE right click on the icon and go to properties you can change it back there. Problem is you need to get rid of the application that is causing the problem. Vagabond right click on the little bugger and click 'hide'. He'll go away

I've been a day behind since last Tuesday. (Weeks go faster that way). Sorry Ayjay hope your week gets better

Mass expulsion- interesting concept. Look at Gaza and the West bank. Not much of a comparison really but how can you tell if your friends and neighbors are Muslum? Impossible

A Tennessee redneck was stopped by a game warden in East Tennessee recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a river well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" "Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are my pet fish." "Pet fish?" "Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the river and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take 'em home." "That's a bunch of bull! Fish can't do that!" The redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works." "Okay, I've GOT to see this!" The redneck poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?" "Well, what?" said the redneck. "When are you going to call them back?" "Call who back?" "The FISH!" "What fish?" We in Tennessee may not be as smart as some, but we ain't as dumb as most. You smart ones have a good day

Dunno but she wants to ask the wizard for a brain. Very nice though

Delete as necessary. Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard - frubbing scloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day she was nucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swollocks. They were really forrible huckers, and had fetty sweet and very fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts wouldn't let Rindercella go. Suddenly there was a bucking fang and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole, and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite whice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnight otherwise there would be a cucking falamity. At the ball Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the strock cluck twelve. "Miste all chucking frighty!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper. Next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly Betty Swollocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking clown browd had lifted, the prandsome hince tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success. Their feet stucking funk. Betty Swollocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a nack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a very follen swanny. And they all lived happily ever after.

No size reference Newt.. How big is she really? When I was in Mississippi hunting years ago I accidently walked through a web that had one that looked like yours but had red markings. It was rather large

Weird Skeleton Tick the boxes in the upper right. [ 16. August 2005, 08:43 PM: Message edited by: Jeff S ]

In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, and when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview. "I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?" "For about 60 years." "60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?" "I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship." "How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?" "Like I'm talking to a f****n' wall."

....public forum. Sorry Elton wasn't thinking when I posted it...

she stole his fish?

No more Shi**y jokes like that then.

Thinking about an impreza myself but was reading about the imports over the weekend. Be wary of them as some of the dealers won't touch them but there are enough specialists now that you may be able to find one that is willing to do the work. I've got an import from the US buying parts is the biggest problem.

Or an Evo.... Sorry Baskin Robins is an ice cream chain in the US. Funny though, I thought I saw one in York.

Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first one. "Let's fly down and find some lunch." They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of newly plowed ground that was full of worms. They ate and ate and ate till they could eat no more. "I'm so full, I don't think I can fly back up into the tree," said the first one. "Let's just lay back here and bask in the warm sun," said the second. "O K," said the first. So they plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, when a big fat tomcat up and gobbled them up. As the cat sat washing his face after his meal, he thought... "I JUST LOVE BASKIN ROBINS."

Hi Newt, I've since purchased the Norton Internet Security 2005 Antispyware Edition. The software Norton 04 came with our PC and expired yesterday (believe it or not). Running live update now. I did find adware that wasn't discovered yesterday called Adware.NDotnet, then I'll scan again to see what else comes up. Thanks for checking! Broadband is sooo great, I'd be on the symantec website all day! [ 14. August 2005, 10:04 AM: Message edited by: Jeff S ]

Sorry Andy I reported your post because I've never had it happen before, ran virus check and antispyware software. Cleaned up a few potential problems but doubt they were from your link. Better be safe than sorry.

Had walking pnuemonia about two year ago if your headache doesn't go away even with massive doses of ibuprofin get in and get it checked. They started with an x-ray next thing I know I get an iv and a day in the hospital. NOT fun! Hope you feel better but don't let it go too long.

Strange nothing happened other than a load of pop-ups.

Where's here Jeeps? I'm near Ripon

And today is supposed to be the hottest day of the year for Britain.... Been raining here all day

Olaf and Sven were fishing one day when Sven pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Olaf for a light. "Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he replied. Then reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long. Yiminy Cricket!" exclaimed Sven, taking the huge Bic lighter in his hands. "Vhere did yew git dat monster??" "Vell", replied Olaf, "I got it from me Genie. "You haff a genie in yor tackle box?" Sven asked. Ya, shure. It's right here" says Olaf. "Could I see him?" So Olaf opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the genie. Addressing the genie, Sven says, "Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?" "Yes, I will," says the genie. So Sven asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there, waiting for his million bucks. Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks...flying overhead. Over the roar of the million ducks Sven yells at Olaf. "Yumpin' Yimmny I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!" Olaf answers, "Ya, I forgot to tell yew that da genie is hard of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10 inch Bic?