scuba_girl

Snotty!!!!!!! I couldn't agree more!!

naughty naughty A man went into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next to a women patron. He turned to her and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating." "What a coincidence," said the woman, "I'm celebrating, too". She clinked glasses with him and asked, "What are you celebrating?" "I'm a chicken farmer," he replied. "For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile." "What a coincidence, the woman said. "My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked. "I switched cocks," he replied. "What a coincidence," she said.

COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE!!!! Sarcastics behave in a difficult manner because they have learned that doing so keeps others off balance and incapable of effective action. Worst of all, they appear immune to all the usual methods of communication and persuasion designed to convince or help them change their ways"

A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional and said nothing. The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting. The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally the drunk replies, ''No use knockin,' mate. There's no paper."

HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE: THE REVISED VERSION Have dinner ready once a week: Plan ahead, even five minutes before, to have a delicious meal -- stop at pizza hut on the way home. The rest of the week, scrounge food from fridge and cupboards. Pasta is quick and easy. Tell your husband that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs and would he please make himself a sandwich because you are too tired. Most men are hungry when they come home, so ignore their whining and point them toward the fridge. Prepare yourself: Leave him with the kids one night and go shopping. You have just been with a lot of work-weary people. Your boring day may need a lift. Clear away the clutter: Kick magazines, papers, and mail off the coffee table so you can eat off it while you watch TV. Have the remote handy. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. Prepare the children: If you both need a break, send them to Grandma's house in another state. If Grandma won't take them, take a few minutes tie children's hands and feet, and don't forget the gag. Tell them you are playing Cops and Robbers and you will free them as soon as their lawyer arrives. Usually, they will fall asleep before you come to untie them hours later. Your husband will think you are a genius, but don't expect flowers. Minimize all noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Ha ha! Just kidding. We know you don't possibly have time to do laundry or vacuum. That stuff will have to wait until your next 3-day weekend. If you want things quiet, turn the TV down. Try to encourage the children to be quiet (See Cops and Robbers, above). Be happy to see him if he stopped to rent videos. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him. If he doesn't seem equally glad to see you, start an argument. Since things are nice and quiet, he will be sure to hear you. Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. He doesn't understand what you mean. This will lead to an argument. Don't complain if he's late for dinner, unless he was supposed to pick it up on his way home. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him (same thing you're drinking unless his preference is different). Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. This will alarm him and he will wonder if he has forgotten your anniversary or birthday. You could get a present out of it. Allow him to relax and unwind before mentioning that it's his turn to take the kids to the dentist. Listen to him:You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. This will placate his ego. His six words won't take long, then you can yammer his ear off with the knowledge that he will ignore you Make the evening yours: Complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. If that doesn't work, leave. Go out to dinner yourself. After a few evenings alone with the kids, he'll see the wisdom of your words. The goal: Try to make your bathroom a place of peace and order where you can renew yourself in body and spirit.

Nicely done Corydoras!!! now tell me Who do you think was the first to use the Internet?

"Alcohol brings down the fear level," said Dr Holstege. "Everyone knows if you give alcohol to a woman it makes things easier.", EXCUSE ME!! Dr Holstege or shall I say Dr Patronising. Anyway, Alcohol reduces inhibitions intensifying both desire and sensation. BUT IS NOT APHRODISIAC in the strict sense of the word. Dr Holstege must have toasted his brain the night before he decided to release his study results.

In my opinion was Leonard Kleinrock, he was the first to develop the underlying principles of packet switching and the communications technology of the Internet and all of this more than a decade before the Internet was founded. So I guess he is the man!!!

It’s called the ReliefBand, and it works under the premise that mild electrical pulses applied to nerves in the wrist area can stimulate a response in the brain that prevents the onslaught of nausea. The battery-operated ReliefBand is worn on the wrist, where it administers periodic, mild electrical shocks to the wearer. Because some people respond better to different levels of electrical stimuli, the strength of the shock can be controlled through a dial on the outside of the band.