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Scottish Romance, Alive and Well..

Norrie

By Norrie
in Non-Fishing Chat

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Norrie Member

Norrie

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Who said Scottish Romance is dead! - These are REAL ADS from the lonely-hearts columns. (Aye, right!!)

 

 

 

Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion.

Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08

 

 

 

Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered. Box06/03

 

 

 

Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting fights on Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning.=2 0Box 73/82.

 

 

 

Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime fiancée seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41

 

 

 

Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more Box 84/87

 

 

 

Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach essential Box 12/32

 

 

 

Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 3/45

 

 

 

Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big chest. Box 40/27

 

 

 

Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon. Box 52/07

 

 

 

Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition at Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978,

seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/41

 

 

 

Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm

 

 

SCOTTISH ROMANCE.....IT'S PURE DEAD BRILLIANT BY THE WAY.XXX

In sleep every dog dreams of food,and I, a fisherman,dream of fish..

Theocritis..

For Fantastic rods,and rebuilds. http://www.alba-rods.co.uk/

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Newt Member

Newt

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:clap2: :clap2: :clap2:
" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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Angly Member

Angly

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Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach essential Box 12/32

 

Second time I've choked on my cuppa in five minutes. :clap2:

Geoff

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n4lly Member

n4lly

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Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime fiancée seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41

 

thspitcoffee.gif

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Emma two Member

Emma two

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Hmmm.... Aberdeen sounds no' bad ;) wonder if he has his ain teeth?

"Some people hear their inner voices with such clarity that they live by what they hear, such people go crazy, but they become legends"
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Angly Member

Angly

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Hmmm.... Aberdeen sounds no' bad ;) wonder if he has his ain teeth?

 

 

Oi! Back of the queue, I saw him first!

Geoff

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Norrie Member

Norrie

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Hmmm.... Aberdeen sounds no' bad ;) wonder if he has his ain teeth?

 

 

EmmaT...I'm ROFLMAO....I canny type for laughing... Excellent post !!...if only you knew, how near the truth you were... :D :D

 

 

 

Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime fiancée seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41

 

thspitcoffee.gif

 

 

 

Glad you liked it..:) they all made me laugh!! :) Just like Rab C Nesbitt, which was on BBC 2 Scotland a few mins ago, a very good analogy of Scottish men..ME not incl BTW...;) I'm FARRRR to sophisticated..:) just like yourself.. ;)

Edited by Norrie

In sleep every dog dreams of food,and I, a fisherman,dream of fish..

Theocritis..

For Fantastic rods,and rebuilds. http://www.alba-rods.co.uk/

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poledark Member

poledark

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Lovely stuff, got me really laughing all of you :)

 

 

Just finished RabC Norrie. Can't quite follow it all, but I have to say, that I met a few Glaswegian women night cleaners some years ago.......................and they were 'orrible :)

 

I'm still chuckling Emma........................

 

Den

"When through the woods and forest glades I wanderAnd hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees;When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur,And hear the brook, and feel the breeze;and see the waves crash on the shore,Then sings my soul..................

for all you Spodders. https://youtu.be/XYxsY-FbSic

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Norrie Member

Norrie

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Posted (edited)
Lovely stuff, got me really laughing all of you :)

 

 

Just finished RabC Norrie. Can't quite follow it all, but I have to say, that I met a few Glaswegian women night cleaners some years ago.......................and they were 'orrible :)

 

I'm still chuckling Emma........................

 

Den

 

Yep, I know Den, they are..:) I used to work in the office of a big Civil Engineering company, I was around 17 at the time, in the "Real" Southside of Glasgow, and when I went in one morning REALLY early ( 5am), as we were all off to a big company meeting darn sarf.....one of the cleaners asked me...Geez its early for you son...you still got a bone in it???

 

Gawd, once I realised what she had meant, I ran like a madman!! :D :D :D

Edited by Norrie

In sleep every dog dreams of food,and I, a fisherman,dream of fish..

Theocritis..

For Fantastic rods,and rebuilds. http://www.alba-rods.co.uk/

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poledark Member

poledark

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And how they manage to talk so fast through clenched teeth I will never know :) especially as half of them never had any!

 

The question has to be asked though.....................did you still have a bone on?

 

 

Den

"When through the woods and forest glades I wanderAnd hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees;When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur,And hear the brook, and feel the breeze;and see the waves crash on the shore,Then sings my soul..................

for all you Spodders. https://youtu.be/XYxsY-FbSic

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