Lingerie can hot up your sex life

[Huge_Vitae]

An Elderly Gent goes to his GP with complaints that his sex life isn't what it used to be and asks for some Viagra.

 

GP says "Look, you are getting on a bit but not medically past it, you need a bit of the magic back, go down to the local sexy underwear shop and buy the misses some top gear, can work for you both."

 

The guy goes into the shop and explais to the assistant who, it turns out is quite experianced in such things and recommends a lovelly red and black Lace number.

 

Agreeing on the purchase he is asked his wife size.

 

When he answers the usual God Knows the assistant says, "Don't worry that is usual, lets start at your wife breasts, close your eyes and picture their basic shape..."

 

The man does as he is instructed.

 

"Does your wife's breasts remind you of a Pumpkin?"

 

"Not at all" replies the man

 

"Does your wife's breasts remind you of a Melon?"

 

"Not at all" replies the man

 

"Does your wife's breasts remind you of a Melon?"

 

"Not at all" replies the man

 

"Does your wife's breasts remind you of a Grapefruit?"

 

"Not at all" replies the man

 

"Does your wife's breasts remind you of a Orange?"

 

"Not at all" replies the man.

 

"Well I am afraid I am stumped" she says, "what does your wife breasts remind you off?"

 

"Have you ever seen a spaniels ears........"

[MickJ]

[Moody]

OH deer isnt age wonderfull

[kendo]

MoodyMooos:

OH deer isnt age wonderfull    

I see you included the obligatory spelling mistake.

[Scapanapper]

kendo:

 

kendo:

OH deer isnt age wonderfull      

I see you included the obligatory spelling mistake.

Two in fact!

[kendo]

I work with moody and he is a very nice chap but young very young but believe me he is no pussy cat,he is a very angry man who has a real problem with anyone over 30,thinks we should all be put to sleep.

[Scapanapper]

kendo:

he is a very angry man who has a real problem with anyone over 30,thinks we should all be put to sleep.    

Speaking for my self after 9:30 I usually am

[Huge_Vitae]

I once had a blinder of an argument with a guy who held senior rank to me over a legal technicallity.

 

I ended it by calling him a stupid old bar steward (he had rank, I have size!!!)

 

He said to me........

 

"Age BOY is a relative concept, I am 50, if I live to be a hundred I am middle aged.....

 

You are 24, If you die tomorrow,(and the way you ride that motorbike you certainly are risking it) it is YOU BOY and not I that is actually an OLD MAN"

[Moody]

Ya see kendo thats the problem with you old people,your so agest towards us young people, show us some respect grandad

[kendo]

us old bu##ers can spell addmitedly we have had more time to get it right,eg agest?