Most embarassing loo episode!

[Big Jeff]

Not one but 2, rather humerous perfectly true stories..

 

Firstly need to caveat these by explaining that I used to have a far richer diet.... a huge love of real ale and curry and on both occasions was very under the weather.... honest.

 

1. First night staying at girlfriends parents house (sepaerate rooms) wake up with wind..... not wind thats lumpy!!! Crisis what to do??

 

In my drunken state did the only sensible thing and chucked the soiled boxers out of the window....this seemed eminently sensible to avoid smells and waking anybody in the house up.

 

Having then forgotten the previous nights incident I was then rudely reminded of it when the girlfriends dog walked into the kitchen with offending boxers in mouth!!!!

 

 

2. During my first month as a graduate, I was on the beer and curry nearly every night and in own office when..... not again.......lumpy wind!!!

 

Crisis can't chuck em out the window .... lets do something different and flush them!!

 

Much tearing of material and flushing, more tearing and flushing and eventually gone.

 

Step outside looking pleased with myself feeling pleasantly suprised with the combat feel to meet with not my boss but THE BOSS enquiring as to my well being as there had reports of fuuny noises and he had heard ripping!!

 

How do you explain that aged 21 you've just had an accident and decided to flush your boxers!!

 

Conciderable time has now passed and incidents of lumpy wind are (hopefully)limited to my children.

 

Jeff

[Snatcher]

Tremendous chaps - and tugmistress. Come on there has to be more humerous stories out there.

One has just sprung to mind. It concerned a work mate not myself honest!

Back in his courting days and staying at the girlfriends house. He was drunk as a skunk and got up in the middle of the night for a --ss.Could not find the lights but thought he was in the toilet. Anyway he had taken a wrong turn and started urinating on his girlfriends mother who was lying asleep in bed - oh dear!

Funny thing was he eventually married that lass.

[chesters1]

he married his girfriends mum

[Snatcher]

No married the daughter cos her mother stank of pi--!

[Alan Stubbs]

Someone I've known from birth (name withheld to protect the insolent, here!), extracted the revenge of a lifetime...or so he thought.

 

On a school sports tour, he was being picked on by the schoolmaster / coach. He got hold of the coach's passport and stuck a picture of a mans genitals over the passport photo.

 

Coach duly turns up at the airport and presents said passport, officials look at it and consulted colleagues, returned 5 minutes later and held the passport up in view of a queue of people saying 'I don't think so!'

 

Collapse of stout party????

 

For the whole of the following term, said student kept a v-e-r-y low profile but kept getting messages from said school master saying variations on a theme of 'revenge is a dish best sampled cold'

 

Fast forward 30 years, said coach's retirement party.... Coach thanks friend for turning up and says 'I'd like to thank @@@@ @@@@@@ for turning up, as he's paying my bar bill!'

 

'What for?' asks by now former student.

 

Coach holds up passport.

 

[ 16. December 2004, 04:10 PM: Message edited by: Alan Stubbs ]

[Snatcher]

Like it a lot Alan!