Senior Citizens Bus Tour

[Newt]

A group of seniors were on a bus tour from San Angelo, TX to Branson, Missouri. As they entered Missouri, an elderly woman comes up to the driver and says, "I've just been molested!"

 

The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream. So he tells her to go back to her seat, and sit down.

 

A short time later, another old woman comes forward, and claims that she was just molested.

 

The driver thought he had a bus load of old wackos, but who would be molesting those old ladies?

 

About 10 minutes later, a third old lady comes up and says that she'd been molested too.

 

The bus driver decides that he'd had enough, and pulls into the first rest area.

 

When he turns the lights on and stands up, he sees an old man on his hands and knees crawling in the aisles.

 

"Hey gramps, what are you doing down there?" says the bus driver.

 

"I lost my toupee. I thought I found it three times, but every time I grab it, it runs away ..."

[blindog]

OOOOOOH

[Alan Stubbs]

The 'rest area', Newt... was that so the old boy could, as you quaintly describe it, 'Dine at the Y?'

[kleinboet]

[Orca]

[RUDD]

[peterpikefisher]

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Sunday School.

 

Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.

 

"Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"

 

When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

 

"God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret.

 

The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class. A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and Savior?"

 

But she didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, little Johnny came to the rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.

 

"Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and the Nun once again said "Very good", and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.

 

The Nun asked her a third question..."What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"

 

Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted,

 

"If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

 

The Nun fainted.

 

[ 03. March 2005, 10:23 PM: Message edited by: pumphypete ]