Parrot joke.

[Guest Ferret1959]

Bloke boards a flight & is seated next to a parrot. After take-off, the flight attendant comes round with the drinks trolley. She asks the man what he'd like. "I'll have a coffee please, miss", he says. She asks the parrot, who replies "Get me a vodka NOW, bitch!" The startled attendant returns with the vodka, but no coffee. He asks again "Miss, could I get a coffee?"

 

"Sure" she replies, looking at the parrot. "Anything else for you, sir?" to which the parrot replies "Yeh, I'll have another vodka, a LARGE one, & make it quick lady!"

 

Once again, the annoyed attendant returns with a vodka, but no coffee. The man thinks "Hmmm, maybe if I'm rude, I'll get my drink..." So he looks the attendant in the eye & shouts "Hey bitch, how about that coffee? Any chance it might come today?! And fetch me some snacks too!!" The attendant by now, very angry, returns with two airline security guards, who eject the man & the parrot through the nearest exit. As they fall to earth, the parrot turns to the man & says "You're quite gobby for someone who can't fly, aren't you!"

[Newt]

LOL. Parrots are evil birds, aren't they?

 

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A man owns a parrot that swears like a sailor. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and the bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.

One day, it gets out of control. The guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him hard and yells, "Quit it!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "Now you're going to pay." He locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.

 

This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush. At this point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.

 

For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very, very quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's worried enough to open the freezer door.

 

The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I caused you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on." The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot asks, "By the way, exactly what did the chicken do to upset you?"

[Apache]

LOL

[chris parker]

There was once an old man and a parrot living all alone together for like 40 years. One day, the parrot came to the old man and said," you know, I've never had a woman in my life."

So the old man, as a favour to his best friend, went to the pet store and talked the owner into letting him use a female parrot for one night for the fee of £40. He took the female home, put it into the cage with his parrot, covered the cage and went to bed.

He was awoken in the middle of the night to the female parrot screaming she was being killed. He ran out and pulled the cover off the cage. There he saw his male parrot ripping all the feathers off of the female.

"What are you doing?" the old man screamed.

The parrot replied, "Are you kidding, for £40, At least I want the bitch naked!"

[*Ant*]

Great stuff guys.