How to speak "Redneck"

[Newt]

Hah Tu Spek Suthun:

 

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."

Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

 

JAWJUH - noun. A very rural state just north of Florida.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

 

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

 

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.

Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

 

FAR - noun. A conflagration.

Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

 

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.

Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

 

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.

Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

 

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.

Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

 

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.

Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

 

FARN - adjective. Not local.

Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

 

JU-HERE - a question.

Usage: "Juhere abaht that fish ole Fred caught?"

 

HAZE - a contraction.

Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."

 

VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.

Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

 

GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.

Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"

[Vagabond]

Newt, I think in future, when responding to your posts, I shall use Norfolk dialect.

 

Fare yee wellll t'gither

[poledark]

C'mon Newt, now put them all together for us!

 

Den

[MarkV]

Check out this web site guys:

 

http://rinkworks.com/dialect/

 

you can get some great laughs...

[MarkV]

stuff like this:

 

here is a web page about fishing. it is a helpful site that has loads of people who are willing to help beginners and old hands alike.

 

changes to:

 

cockney - here is a web page about fishin'. it is an 'elpful site that 'as Old Kent Roads of blokes 'oo are willin' ter help beginners and ole hands alike.

 

jive -

 

here be a web page about fishin'. it be a helpful site dat gots loads uh sucka's who is willin' t'help beginners and old hands alikes.

 

redneck - har is a web page about fishin'. it is a he'pful site thet has loads of varmints who is willin' t'he'p beginners an' old han's alike.

 

and the old muppet favorite

 

Swedish chef - here-a is a veb pege-a ebuoot feeshing. it is a helpffool seete-a thet hes lueds ooff peuple-a vhu ere-a veelling tu help begeenners und

oold hunds eleeke-a.

 

This last is used quite a lot here as I work for Ericsson!!!