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awaaar

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Words of wisdom

 

> TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS

>

> Question 1:

 

> If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8

> kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded,

> and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

>

> Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.

Question 2:

 

> It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.

> Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.

>

> Candidate A -

> Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two Mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

>

> Candidate B -

> He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

>

> Candidate C -

> He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

>

> Which of these candidates would be your choice?

> Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.

>

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> ANSWERS

>

> Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

>

> Candidate B is Winston Churchill.

>

> Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

>

> And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question: If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

>

> Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging

> someone.

>

> Never be afraid to try something new. Remember: Amateurs built the ark.

> Professionals built the Titanic

>

>

>

>

> Can you imagine working for a company that has a

> little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

>

> * 29 have been accused of spousal abuse

> * 7 have been arrested for fraud

> * 19 have been accused of writing bad cheques

> * 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

> * 3 have done time for assault

> * 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

> * 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

> * 8 have been arrested for shoplifting

> * 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

> * 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

>

> Can you guess which organization this is?

>

> Give up yet?

>

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> It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

"I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy."

 

- WC Fields

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the lunatics have taken over the asylum

The salary of the chief executive of a large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

John Kenneth Galbraith

 

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