rude joke

[chesters1]

a man goes to visit a lady of the night,

"how much" he enquires

" £10 for straight" she says (hey it is an old joke)

"i`ve only got a fiver" the man snivvels

"ok since punters are a bit rare £5 will have to do" the good time girl sighs

after the "act" the man is dressing he says..

"if i`d known you were a virgin i would have given you a tenner"

the lady replies..

"if i knew you had a tenner ,i would have taken me tights off"

[nursejudy]

How do you tell when a Barnsley lass has an orgasam

 

she drops her bag of chips.

 

oops sorry to any one from Barnsley

nursejudyxx

[chesters1]

chips do it for me aswell

and i dont mean eric astrada

[nursejudy]

shame he was ace. judy

oops showing my age

[nursejudy]

bye the way was angus's replacement any better to nite.nite nite,judy xxxxx zzzz

[greg long]

Man goes into Brothel,gives the Madam £500 and asks for the fattest ugliest woman and a glass of milk and a stale sandwich...The Madam says for £500 you can have the best girls and a five course meal with champagne...

 

The man says "I dont want sex I'm just Homesick"

[Excalibur]

Man in Officer's uniform stands outside Brothel. Asks the Madam " How much for the pleasure of my company this evening?"

" Twenty pounds" is the reply.

" Splendid. COMPANY, FORWARD MARCH.............."

[John Ellison]

Two ladies of the night talking in war time Liverpool.

One says to the other,"with all this money we're making, we ought to buy a chip shop, so that when it's all over we'll be made".

So they buy a chip shop. The first night they open, over comes the Luftwaffe and bombed the front off the chippie. They put up a sign.

DUE TO HITLER THE FISH 'LL BE LITTLER.

Next night the Luftwaffe come over again and bomb the back off the chippie. Up goes another sign. DUE TO HIMMLER THE CHIPS 'LL BE SIMILAR.

Third night, the Luftwaffe come again and blow it off the face of the earth. So they put up another sign. DUE TO GEOURING GONE BACK WHORING!