fishing practicle Jokes

[A Worm OOE]

Boozlebears Post about dodgy practices in match fishing got me thinking about practicle jokes I have seen whilst fishing over the years. You know the sort of thing repalacing someonse groundbait with road kill whilst their back is turned, bricks in their tackle box before they start out for peg 120 on the Wallers Haven that sort of thing. Any more that you have seen ?

 

[ 04. August 2005, 04:20 PM: Message edited by: A Worm On One End........ ]

[Ken L]

Wait till everyone has pegged their nets up and walked down to watch the weigh-in then pull out some multicolouted spine covered monstrocity that you bought at the fishmarket (Birmingham has some very exotic stuff in it's fishmarket) and drop it in the net of one of the old duffer's in the club. Sit back and wait for someone to spot the imposter at the weigh-in.

 

If someone accuses the old boy of cheating instead of seeing it as an obvious joke, Wait till the next match and drop a couple of the biggest herrings you can find in their net. Suitable comments about "Chernobyl Bleak" can them be made at their weigh-in.

[Ken L]

When fishing with a mate using ledgered baits, tie some very light line onto his mainline half way up the rod whilst he's off for a constitutional. When he gets back, give the light line (and therefore his rod tip) a little twitch. Watch as he leaps up and hovers over the ummoving rod waiting for the slightest tap to hit.

Two minutes after he's calmed down, give it another twitch, or two, or three, or four.

 

 

Drop half a dozen burcock burs into someones net bag. They'll have hours of fun untanleing them.

[Andy_1984]

Ken L:

 

Drop half a dozen burcock burs into someones net bag. They'll have hours of fun untanleing them.

that is just pure evil but funny to watch demon

[Ken L]

I ain't making these up !

I've either done them, had them done to me or know people who've done them.

What's getting me woried is that me and my mates seem to be the only silly people on the bank, because nobody else is admitting anything

[RiverRover]

One of my favorites was when carp fishing on patshull. A fishing buddy of mine used to snore like nobodys buisness. So one night when he was asleep we lifted his home made bivy and turned it around so the door was at the rear. He never woke.

We then went down to his rods and gave his alarms a good tug and sat back and watched as he was trying to find his way out of his bivy. I never laughed so much in all my life.

Glynn

[Peter Waller]

Three of us kipped on a boat last night. Now, the boat is old, and leaks. Not a problem, if you pump her out in the morning.

 

Yesterday morning I pumped her out, via a bucket, taking the water out through the cabin door. This morning, as I cooked and chatted with one friend, the other pumped the bilge out. Clever fellow, he pushed the hose out through the port-hole (window), rather than use the bucket. Why fill a bucket when you can pump directly into the river?

 

Ah ha, much easier than filling a large bucket and lifting it out via the cabin door, said he.

 

We kept very straight faces as he merrily cranked on the pump, not realising that the hose from the pump was pumping the water from the cruiser and into his rowing boat that was moored alongside.

 

A little water from a big boat turned out to be a lot of water in a little boat!

 

That was a good fry-up, and we were still laughing about it over a lunch time pint!!

[Peter Waller]

Glen's story rings a bell with me. A year or two back a gang of us hired two cruisers on the Broads. We had moored up, one behind the other, and departed, as all good anglers do, to the pub.

 

Next morning, slightly worse for wear, we realised that our water tank was empty. The nearest tap was alongside the other cruiser. Rather than pull her along we cast off the bow and let her swing round on the tide.

 

We filled up and started on breakfast. As we did, Large Charlie, a friend of mine on the other cruiser, emerged to step on shore, only the shore was not where it was the evening before, like it was on the other side of the boat! Very gracefull, ten out of ten for entry. By the cringe our Charlie sobbered up in record time!

 

We did recue him, owed us a round from the night before .

[BURTON]

one of the most funniest ones for me was i went fishing with a mate who was a couple of years younger than me abit of a squimish wimp anyhow when we got in the bivvy ready for a kip i sed 2 oh put the light on a minute and pass me that bag i then pulled out a tub of vasline (i use to grease my line with) i then looked at him and sed its time lol i never see some one get out a bivvy so quick hahahaha ps i aint really gay!!!

[captain birdseye]

We was night fishing at millfield lagoons for tench and had a bit of a barbie and a beer then settled down to some serious fishing.

Some rats were seen and was after some food.

When wingnut said he was getting some kip at only 11.30pm we called him a wuss for not fishing.

We threw some spareribs in the tent when he was asleep and left the flap open.

About an hour later he got out of the tent and decided to fish and told us the tent had rats in and we was horrible persons( or summat like that) for throwing the food in the tent and attracting the rats.

He never went with us again.