The Rugby On TV Is Faked

[Steve Redrobe]

The recent football World Cup has proven that the game of rugby, as seen on television, does not exist - it is a fake, just like the moon landings.

 

You see, if the World Cup has shown us anything, it is the frailty of the human body.

 

For about a month we have seen daily evidence that a footballer, if subjected to even the slightest contact with another player, will invariably fall to the ground in agony and will often require a stretcher to carry his battered body from the field of play.

 

This incontrovertible evidence must, once and for all, put paid to this 'rugby' deception, perpetrated almost every weekend by the BBC. We have seen proof that a human being could not possibly withstand a game of this 'rugby', therefore it is all a fake, using trained actors.

 

The BBC have covered this up for many years, probably by making threats against the families of those involved. I, for one, have always suspected that the late Eddie Waring was about to blow the whistle on this and was murdered by those with a vested interest in maintaining the deception. There are a few other brave souls at the BBC who are committed to bringing the hoax to the attention of the public. Why, the man who first introduced that ridiculously-shaped ball risked his life to try to alert us to the impossible nature of the game.

 

Many of you will have seen men in public houses at the weekend, boasting extravagantly about their prowess on the field that day, and about how many pints they downed in games of 'fizz-buzz'. Well, I can reveal to you for the first time that they are, in fact, agents from a top-secret government department, trained to spread disinformation about this subject to the public. We rugbologists refer to them as 'The Men In Rugby Shirts', or MIRS.

 

I had better not say any more at this time, as my own life might be in danger.

[Newt]

 

 

 

[Elton]

Must admit, watching it with fellow rugby fans, it was amazing how many times "Get him on a rugby pitch for five minutes!" was shouted!

[Steve Redrobe]

Must admit, watching it with fellow rugby fans, it was amazing how many times "Get him on a rugby pitch for five minutes!" was shouted!

 

Well, I'm certainly pleased to read that, as I've never seen such a bunch of big girls' blouses in my life.

 

Of course, another way of looking at it - and, sadly, probably the correct one - is that they're almost all simply cheats.

 

It rather cast a shadow over the whole event, for me.

[Newt]

Was this years behavior unusual? First time I've had occasion to actually watch professional soccer matches.

 

I was very surprised after seeing the dives and writhing around that I never saw any players bleeding and only one (best I can remember) who actually got on the stretcher when it was brought out. Most seemed to make a miracle recovery but were able to give the other players a nice rest and water break before their injury went away.

[Alan Fawcett]

always said that football is played by overpaid nancy girls.

 

Rugby players are still in it for the love of the game not the love of the money.

 

It amazed me how few people were posting about the rugby, talking about the rugby or watching the rugby...untill that is England won, and then it was all over the place and everyone was suddenly saying how much they love the rugby and how proud they are of the England rugby lads.......now try and get them to explain some rules from Rugby!!!

[MJB]

.......now try and get them to explain some rules from Rugby!!!

 

Rugby has laws not rules!

[Alan Fawcett]

yeah but if you say laws to them they ask you if you mean the rules

[chesters1]

football is so girly they dont even crash their planes or get struck by lightening anymore.

they get paid so much they can retire before they have to comb their hair over bobby charlton style (or was that after the first line).

all telly is fake people would switch off if it were real ,those antique/carboot progs a prime example

 

reminds me off a rugby tour by a famouse rugby club? years ago of america.

the american who i suppose backed the tour had obviasly watched the wrong type of rugby and had a ton of those strange cheerleaders on the line to dance about when the ball was chucked in (into that line dooda they form ,you may just tell rugby isnt my thing) unfortunately in the version on display it never happened so the cheerleaders remained stationary silly girls with sparkly things

the great difference is our rugbies body armour is a sticking plaster and a cabbage ear rather than the medievel full lot of american football

Edited July 12, 2006 by chesters1

[GlennB]

Was this years behavior unusual? First time I've had occasion to actually watch professional soccer matches.

 

There was a time when some pretty savage "defending" was more or less tolerated by refs. This was in the days before the formal yellow+red card system. Skillful players who stayed on their feet ended up half-crippled in time, and learned to draw the referees attention to the chunk now missing from their knee by screaming a bit and rolling around. In the case of a Norman Hunter or Billy Bremner tackle this was probably sensible, and at the very least wasted precious seconds until the next Hunter-Bremner tackle.

In time referees sort of learnt that it wasn't really a foul unless the player screamed/rolled somewhat.

From there it was a simple and natural progression to the point we're at today, where a player can win a free kick simply by screaming/rolling. Unless the ref has a perfect line-of-sight view of the 'gap' in the non-foul it's extremely hard for him to penalise the dive, as there might actually have been some tiny but technically illegal contact.

 

Hope that clears things up