eBay's Dodgy Marketing

[Elton]

Can't believe how condescending, and crap, the latest batch of marketing from eBay is. Here's the start of one I received today:

 

******************

Wish You Were Here

******************

 

 

Dear eltonmurphy,

 

I'm taking a welcome break from the hustle and bustle and am playing a

relaxed round of golf with an old pal.

 

I thought it was about time I dusted down the set of clubs that Penny

had bought for my birthday. She's been using them to prop open the

window!

 

 

We're at the eleventh hole, digging out the ball from the bunker, but

with a birdie at the fourth under my hat it looks like I'll soon be

celebrating at the nineteenth!

 

 

Speak to you soon,

 

 

Edward

 

 

PS - How's your swing coming along?

 

Not only is it pathetic, but I can't stand golf!!!!

[Elton]

It gets worse....

 

I'm writing to you from the depths of the jungle - I kid you not! Penny

and I have gone elephant trekking - all thanks to the successful sale of

my antique grandfather clock on eBay.

 

 

Realising that we'd brought the fake tan instead of insect repellent, we

popped into an internet café where our skins were saved by a kindly eBay

seller

 

offering same-day dispatch. Lucky for us!

 

 

Penny did bring a padlock though, in case some cheeky monkey decides to

pilfer her soothing whale music during the night!

 

 

Speak to you soon,

 

Edward

 

 

P.S. I haven't told her about the spiders yet...

[RobStubbs]

Excuse me whilst I vomit ! That would make very good anti-ebay spam messaging but surely would never induce anyone to use them.

 

Rob.

[zenith10]

lol ive had a few like this, cant believe how bad they are, instead of making me want to go to ebay it makes me want to stop using it.

[Ken L]

Thanks for that.

I knew there was something I'd been intending to do.

I've just blocked e-mails from e-bay.

[Alan Fawcett]

the one where he wanted to marry me was the wierdest!!!

[billy5000]

Hi all

 

ive had one or two of these odd emails,which i add go right into the bin!!

 

i was looking on ebay for a friend and was supprised to see they had gravestones

 

 

they really do sell almost anything:)

 

 

 

billy

[Elton]

They're sticking with it....

 

I'm writing to you from a slightly less exotic location this time - the back garden.

 

On returning from our elephant trekking holiday I saw my nephew who wasn't pleased that he had missed out on our great adventure.

 

So, to make it up to him I dusted down my old red tent and found a sheltered spot to pitch it next to the pond and garden gnome I bought from eBay.

 

Luckily, we didn't have to dig out the wellingtons or the camping stove with the kitchen only a few meters away!

 

 

Cheerio for now,

 

Edward

 

He even spells 'metres' like Newt would!!!!!

[DavyR]

I bet you're looking forward to the Xmas Round Robin telling you about the achievements of the whole family (all of whom will be beautiful, intelligent, and outrageously talented) in the preceding year.