PH

quote: HOW COME I'M SKINT ALL THE DAMN TIME? Because you're probably spending all you spare cash on fancy fishing tackle

quote: Keane says to god, hey you, outa my chair ...or in Corkese (a language spoken in Cork from where the great man is from)... "C'mere lamp, ball on out of mi seat biy " Corkese - Cork Dictionary [ 20. August 2002, 02:26 PM: Message edited by: PH ]

Did any of you see that Channel 4 documentary last night (Aug 19th) that poses the question Did Barry George Kill Jill Dando? Last month the Court of Appeal upheld George's conviction for the murder of television presenter Jill Dando. It found that many parts of the complex case were too much to be coincidence. The programme however questions whether the evidence actually showed that George was responsible for the murder. Did the police get the wrong man?

It should be easy enough to build your own smokery and you can do this in you garden. All you need is an old box, something bigger than a tea chest, turn it upside down, drill small hole in the top to allow a draught least the fire goes out. Filet your macs and hang them on the roof of your box. Get some wood shavings, preferably hardwood, and light them up and get it smoking. Then put you box over the smoking fire. And smoke them as long as you like. Easipeezee!

Great tips, Neil. Never really though about keeping it on the move, that'll give me something to do that just sit there.

Yes, Guinness is better in Ireland than the UK. In London, we use to have a good laugh at the 'Plastic Paddies' forcing the stuff down their troats, God love them. But Guinness in Dublin is crap, and this has always been the case. Though Mulligans on Poolbeg St., has something close to what I would call a good pint. The barmen there probably did that 4 year college cource you were talking about. For a good pint of Guinness the pipes (that's the tube connecting the the barrel to the taps via a cooler of cource) have to be cleaned regularly. Now this can be a bitch of a job if the barrels are some distance from the taps as is the case in most pubs in Dublin and in bigger bars around the country. And we all know barmen who will put off the dirty jobs as long as possible. You'll get the best Guinness where the barrel is under the counter in the bar - i.e. shorter pipes. My cousin has a pub in Cork and they still bring the barrels in to the bar and set them up underneath. Great beer, but it's a pain having to wheel-in the new barrels all the time.

I'm on broadband here at work, but I think it might be a bit sluggish to load up for someone on a modem at home who doesn't have the high speeds available. To me web sites should be all about content, and yours has plenty of it - pretty good original stuff at that. However, it may need some reorganisation. The button manu on the left hand side is good but looks a bit cluttered and difficult to follow. You could shorten this menu to a few categorised topics, like for the 'New Venue' buttons. Instead of having three have one with a sub-menu to the three articles on this topic. It a good web site and I'll be back for a better read later.

Fished the eastury back home yesterday and all I seemed to be doing was feeding the local crab population with my mackerel bait. So what do you do when the crabs start nibbling your bait? Do you reel it in, re-bait and recast? Or do you give it a while to allow a fish to jump in there for its share?

Many years ago, late 80's, when I was in London for a few summers, we were paying £1.20 for lager. So now in England you're paying between £1.50 and £2.00 for your beer? This sounds all right to me. Though £2.55 (4 Euro) does sound like a rip-off, as we're paying those prices here in Dublin. And Jim, quote: What does Guinness taste like anyway? What it tastes like now isn't how it use to taste like. When I turned 18 I started on the stuff. It was lovely then. It took sometime getting use to, heavy, rich, creamy and bitter all at the same time (I felt so sick after my first three, which gave my dad a good laugh). Guinness today isn't great. They're chilling the beer too much. It's almost like ice! Horrible stuff. Stout shouldn't be served that cold. Where I grew up there is a pub which use to serve two types of Guinness - natural and cooled. The cooled (not iced) Guinness was beautiful, while natural was just that, Guinness served at room temperature. And that on a hot summers day was some getting use to. You don't get Guinness like that anymore. Guinness has been 'designed' now to be served that this super-cold temp. - awful stuff! :mad: :mad:

Our neighbours, we all hate them until we get to know them.

quote: That's nearly as good as the joke itself?? Now I really don't get-it! Must be an English thing? Care to translate?

Wouldn't a 12ft rod, with a 5oz lead, be a bit much for a young fella? He could do himself some damage with that sort of equipment. For a 9 year old, I'd start him off on some spinning - and pretty light tackle at that.

...and there's more... Arsoli (Lazio, Italy) Bastard (Norway) Beaver (Oklahoma, USA) Beaver Head (Idaho, USA) Brown Willy (Cornwall,UK) Chinaman's Knob (Australia) Climax (Colorado, USA) C**t (Spain) Cunter (Switzerland) Dikshit (India) Dildo (Newfoundland, Canada) Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border) Dongo (Congo - Democratic Republic) Fuku (Shensi, China) Fukue (Honshu, Japan) Fukui (Honshu, Japan) Fukum (Yemen) Hold With Hope (Greenland) Intercourse (Pennsylvania, USA) Lickey End (West Midlands, UK) Little Dix Village (West Indies) Lord Berkeley's Knob (Sutherland, Scotland) Middle Intercourse Island (Australia) Muff (Donegal, Ireland) Nobber (Donegal, Ireland) Pis Pis River (Nicaragua) Sexmoan (Luzon, Philippines) Seymen (Turkey) Shafter (California, USA) Shag Island (Indian Ocean) Shitlingthorpe (Yorkshire, UK) Tittybong (Australia) Tong Fuk (Japan) Turdo (Romania) Twatt (Orkney, UK) **** (Germany) Wankendorf (Schleswig-Holstein, Germany) Wankener (India) Wankie (Zimbabwe) Wankie Colliery (Zimbabwe) Wanks River (Nicaragua) Wankum (Germany) Wet Beaver Creek (Australia) [ 16. August 2002, 11:55 AM: Message edited by: PH ]

More or less.

I remember another ending to that joke... ...Dan falls into a deep pit, and a native shouts down to him "Haalow dan dare" I didn't get the part about "a Manchester United shirt, Millwall shorts, Leeds socks and a Swansea scarf"? Can you explain if it's not a stupid question?

Sorry about this one... AND GOD CREATED THE EMERALD ISLE Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him. He inquired of God, "where were you?". God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds; "look son, look what I'm after making". Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "what is it?" God replied, "it's another planet but I'm after putting LIFE on it. I've named it Earth and there's going to be a balance between everything on it. For example, there's North America and South America. North America is going to be rich and South America is going to be poor, and the narrow bit joining them - that's going to be a hot spot. Now look over here. I've put a continent of whites in the north and another one of blacks in the south." And then the archangel said, "and what's that green dot there?". And God said "ahhh that's the Emerald Isle - that's a very special place. That's going to be the most glorious spot on earth: beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams, and an exquisite coast line." "These people here are going to be great craic and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be playwrights and poets and singers and songwriters. And I'm going to give them this black liquid which they're going to go mad on and for which people will come from the far corners of the earth to imbibe." Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and admiration but then seeming startled proclaimed: "Hold on a second, what about the BALANCE, you said there was going to be a balance. God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the neighbours I'm going to give them"

Dear-oh-dear-oh-dear! Gawd they're awful.... How about adding this one ot the pile? Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!" "Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! Tell me, how big is your army?" "At this moment in time," said Paddy after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbour Gerry, and the entire dominoes team from the pub - that makes 8!" Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 1 million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Begorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right Mr.Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!" "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked. "Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor from the farm." Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16 thousand tanks, 14 thousand armored personnel carriers, and my army has increased to 1 and a half million since we last spoke." "Really?!" said Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!" Paddy rang again the next day. "Right Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Ted's ultralight with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the bridge team has joined us as well!" Saddam was silent for a minute, then sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 10 thousand bombers, 20 thousand MiG 19 attack planes, my military complex is surrounded by laser-guidedsurface-to-air missile sites, and since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million." "Faith and begorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right Mr.Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war." "I'm sorry to hear that" said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well," said Paddy "We've all had a chat, and there's no way we can feed 2 million prisoners."

1. The Dishwasher - if you don't have one get one, believe me. I'd buy a dishwasher before a TV. 2. TV - how else would you spend the long winter evenings? 3. The Internet - Everybody loves, but we're not really sure what's it for yet? 4. The car - has done more for individual freedom than any other. 5. Tea - where would we be without a nice cup of tea in the morning. 6. Sliced Bread - without it we wouldn't have toasters! 7. Beer - need I say more? 8. Crunchie Nut Cornflakes and Muesli - together they're just great! 9. Arsenal - Cummondaa Gooners!!! 10. God - got to hand it to the guy/girl for his/her input we'd have nothing, that is if you believe in all that.

I thought that this was one of those joke sites where you're prompted with a number of questions and then they post a picture of a couple of chimps - this is you and your mates from school. Ha-ha

See the news about the Seal virus about to hit England - http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/sci/tech/2193017.stm no doubt there will be a few fishermen delighted with the news?

Yeah, I wonder what would have happen if the Nazis had won the war? And would the Nazi government have been able to support their single currency - the reichsmark? Probably. They would have enough labour and raw resources to maintain the economy, but would they have a market outside the Reich (Europe and Russia, North Africa and Arabia and Persia, Turkey, India and the Middle East, as well as Australia and New Zealand), i.e. the United States? Who knows? The US probably would have nuked Berlin in the end and taken over the Third Reich. Then we'd surely have a single currency - the US Dollar. Which isn't far from what we have now.

quote: He made the mechanism that started the motor of the torpedo that sunk the Bismark. What has the sinking of the Bismark to do with the Euro?

There's a village in Donegal, Ireland, called Muff. It has a good Scuba centre

quote: if people vote no that must change their answer to yes surely S****! You're right! But maybe we could have an exemption in this case. So shouldn't we have a poll to allow this?

Favourite car? Anything German, except an Opel, for me, please.