Jake

Happy Birthday, you old bastard! Jake

Have you ever watched a soccer match or hockey game on the TV? You sit there and begin to yell suggestions or instructions towards the tube, which are directed at the players, refs, coaches, etc. We all do it, don't we? I have never engaged in political discussions on this site or the North American boards. Why? Because it's just like screaming at the television. It doesn't change a thing and whatever will happen, will happen, regardless! Jake [ 11. September 2002, 08:16 PM: Message edited by: Jake ]

OI!! what are you doing with my pic?[/QB] Wow! I've always thought that she was crazy or something. Mom said, that I have a twin, somewhere. Now I have finally found you. How have you been? How's the family? Do you have Dickdo? We have to get together for a beer or two and talk about the water that has flowed under the bridge. Jake PS. BTW, how in the world do you proniuce your name? Are you Armenian? It doesn't matter, I still love you Bro. Jake [ 10. September 2002, 10:37 PM: Message edited by: Jake ]

Welcome back, Dingbat. I've noticed over the years that computers are very similar to women. They also fight and screw up! Jake [ 11. September 2002, 08:17 PM: Message edited by: Jake ]

Newt, what a great idea! I tried out the condom this morning, after my wife (Bruce) went grocery shopping. I don't want her to think that I'm strange or perverted. I must say that I rather enjoy the feeling of this contraption. I get this urge to yank on the tube just to get it kick started. Newt, is this normal? Do you feel the same way I do? Now, for your other suggestion (cork & duct tape). I also gave this a whirl but I strongly state that this is a very dangerous practise which should not be performed in a closed area. My miniature Schnauzer was in the wrong place at the wrong time. After we came back from the Veterinarian, I was happy to know that my dog (Milo) will not lose his eye after all. Jake

I found what I was looking for! It was right under my nose, all this time. My wife is about the same size as an elephant and she was kind enough to supply me with the goods. Perfect timing on her, part. Thanks for all your help. I hope I didn't inconvenience anyone. Jake [ 09. September 2002, 11:55 PM: Message edited by: Jake ]

Jake - sorry. Meant to quote your post in another post. Goofed and did an edit instead so what you had said is gone. [ 09. September 2002, 11:10 PM: Message edited by: Newt ]

Don't worry Littlefeathers, I'm laughing right along, with you. Jake

You must think that I was born yesterday? I had looked at it but it wasn't the right shade of red that I was looking for. I like you, also thought that it would be a good substitute, but we were both wrong. Thanks anyhow. I'm sticking to the original plan. Jake

Picture this, you are fishing in your waders and the bite starts about the same time nature calls. I hate missing those precious opportunities, so I end up peeing or crapping in my waders, instead of going to shore. I have tried strapping a hot water bottle onto my leg for one of the situations and a bed pan for the other. Been there, done that! But, I found it very cumbersome at times. I'm hoping that someone on this board may have a better solution for this problem, for me to try! Thanks in advance. Jake [ 11. September 2002, 08:20 PM: Message edited by: Jake ]

Is this how it's going to be around here? I ask a simple question and in return I get a mocked reply! Jake PS. If you do happen to find that bag of hair, let me know how much it will cost me, including shipping and handling.

If you want to see the true definition for, a waste of time, then read my posts/replies on this board and the Fly Fishing board. Jake [ 09. September 2002, 05:16 AM: Message edited by: Jake ]

I have been tying flies for a number of years now. I'm always interested in finding that one killer pattern and have experiment with various materials. Last week a friend of mine heard of this knock 'em dead pattern. It's tied in a Carey fashion but here is the hard part. He stated that the fly consists primarily of the crotch hairs that come from a menstruating African elephant. Apparently the India variety is too coarse and gives no action what-so-ever, when wet, plus the reddish hue isn't as vibrant. I have canvassed my local fly shops, with negative results. Seeing that you live closer to the source, I was wondering if you have access to this exotic hair? I'll buy as much as you are willing to sell. Thanks in advance. Jake [ 11. September 2002, 08:19 PM: Message edited by: Jake ]

Thanks for the e-mail, He's a cute little bastard, to say the least! Jake

This test was easier than the last one I did on this board. My answer for this one, was "Red Hammer"! Jake

Okay then! Calling all Yorkers. I was also curious if your wives get a bit jealous when you are eyeing the herd. Would you say that four legs are better than two? Don't get sheepish on me. Step right up and tell like it is. I always do! Jake

One of the reasons I enjoy fishing is the fact that it takes me away from the big city. I normally travel through areas that have a variety of livestock. This gives me the opportunity to view the pretty sheep and come in contact with the wildlife scene. I must admit that the sheep family is my favourite of them all. There is something about those woolly creatures that send shivers up my spine. I'm not sure if it's their big round brown eyes or the way they frolic on the farmer's field. I guess, I will always have a soft spot in heart for them! How are the sheep in your neck of the woods? Do any of you own sheep? Do they make good pets? Are they easy to house break? If you do have a couple of them kicking around your place, you must feel as if you are on top of the world. I envy you! Jake [ 11. September 2002, 08:21 PM: Message edited by: Jake ]

My answer was, blue drill. The other sad part to this test was that all my mathematical questions were wrong. I tried the test the following day and I still failed. I thought of mauve panties. I guess it's because I sometimes place my tool in them. I would try it a third time but I'm scared of the possible results. I'm going to leave well enough, alone. Jake

Well of course it's too small! But I blame it my this condition that I have had for a number of years now. It's called "DickDo". If you aren't familiar with this medical term, I will try my best to describe it to you. You can run this simple test to determine if you also have this common aliment. You start by looking down towards your feet. Now, if your stomach sticks out further than your dick do, you have become a member of the club. Jake

Boy, that's a tough one! There are so many fine artists out there to pick from. I can tell you what DVD/movie I can watch over and over. It's "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation", starring Chevy Chase and Randy Quaid. Jake [ 05. September 2002, 03:00 PM: Message edited by: Jake ]

Mally, thanks for your question! I'm originally from Toronto Ontario but I have been posted to Western Canada (currently working in Vancouver, British Columbia) since 1974. I must correct my earlier statement regarding the band "Reel Big Fish". For all I know they may have their music played on our radio stations. I don't listen to any progressive rock or Rap. I fall back on various Blues and the Oldies but Goldies (CCR, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Elvis, Ray Charles, Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, Little River Band, early Elton John, AC/DC, Spanish guitar music, etc. I can't help it. I don't think that the current music scene can hold a candle to the past. Just my opinion! Jake

Canada is known for it's beavers. Keeping that in mind, our address is very simple to remember. It's "69". I must admit that you were very close, but no Clinton cigar for you, this time. Jake [ 05. September 2002, 04:57 AM: Message edited by: Jake ]

I did a search and came up with this site that illustrates the Teeny Nymph. Take away the tail and add a small peacock herl head and it will look like the ones I tie and use. http://flytyingworld.com/PagesH/hs-teenyleech.htm Jake

I seem to remember the "Dog Nobbler" name is patented, but not the pattern. Hence whenever "Dog Nobbler" flies are mentioned they are nearly always called Lead Heads. Colin Colin, I bet that between the both of us, we have nobbled more dogs, than we care to remember! Am I right? Or is just me again! Jake

Newt, I have been in the province of Quebec on two occasions. The first time was a hockey tournament in Montreal (1970) and at the Quebec City Summit to assist in crowd control of the protesters (2001). I was basically treated the same way on both counts. They were rude and played the role of not being able to understand what I was saying. You know, it didn't bother me that much. If they want to walk around with some kind of chip on their shoulder, which I did not place there; so be it! Life's too short for me to worry about things that I have no control over. One good thing about that part of the country is the fact that there are some fine looking women there. Jake PS. Have you participated on VFS bulletin board, in the past? [ 03. September 2002, 04:27 AM: Message edited by: Jake ]