Jeff S

Sounds like a mixture for groundbait. Eye of Newt?

1.Only in America... Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America.... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. 10. Only in America.......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

The pictures look a bit grainy probably because it was just getting light. The flash didn't help any either. You can definitely tell something is in the water but even by zooming in with my software (kodak easyshare) it looks like a stick. I can't post any yet. Misplaced my password. Never can tell what you are going to see when you are out. I've seen a mink falling out a of tree into the water, birds landing on my pole , and a fox trying to outrun the hounds

Nothing yet in Ripon although it is a bit light to the north.

Before work this morning I stopped off to do some lure fishing on the river. Caught a few perch and a 5lb jack. Believe it or not as I made a cast I saw something out of the corner of my eye and got a few digital pictures of it. A squirrel was swimming across. I thought it might be a mink but the tail was floating behind it. Has anyone ever seen a squirrel swim? I've also heard of pike stealing fish as you reel them in but hadn't seen it until today. The perch was a third its size. I'll try to get pictures next time. Quite exciting though.

and not to mention every five minutes an advert

Sorry for your loss Colin. They all have their own personalities. I've got three cats and two dogs. Not looking forward to their last trips. Do you have any stories about Widget?

How many pints have you had? Take The Test

One for Newt... A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?" The father (never having seen an elevator)responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go git yo Momma.... "

MEMO TO ALL EMPLOYEES As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately. This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Ages Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED wil be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company. SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management. This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by higher Authority Following Termination). Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate. If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump-sum Assistance Payment). As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company. Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain onboard that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our Special High Intensity Training (S#!T). We take pride in the amount of S#!T our employees receive. We have given our employees more S#!T than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough S#!T on the job, see your immediate supervisor. Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the S#!T you can stand. And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us. The Management

Don't expect to not get asked wherever you go. I fish river Ure and a few nearby lakes. I nearly always get asked for my license. Most of the bailiffs know me now and only say "Ah my american friend.. Caught ought?" :confused: And then... "You wot?" "Those aren't swan shot."

I tried that along with doing the wash. I'm now not allowed to do either. I left the wash in too long and was told I can't do it any longer, so I ask... Does that mean no more washing today or forever? Guess who slept on the couch? :confused: :confused:

A solution for the toilet seat is to leave it down. She'll be sure to put it up for you after you "hit" it a few times.

A beautiful, blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! (Comes with complete instructions)." She looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The clerk packages the frog and says, "Just follow the instructions carefully." The girl nods, grabs the box,and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, the girl takes out the instructions and reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do: 1. Take a shower. 2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume. 3. Slip into a very sexy teddy. 4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down on the bed. She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise and disappointment, nothing happens! She is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She rereads the instructions and notices that at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." So, she calls the pet store. The clerk says, "I had some complaints earlier today. I'll be right over." Within five minutes, he is ringing her doorbell. The lady welcomes him in and says, " I've done everythingaccording to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there." The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog,stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: "Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"

I had thought of that Apache It's not very often that I see anyone at all on the river. Maybe I'll take it but leave it off til I need it?? That way when I drop it in the water it will still work. and I don't get annoying calls. The camera actually works. I wasn't holding out any hope for it. Will have to be much more careful in the future.

Ah so I'm not the only one! I told my wife that I was taking the laptop so I can get some live photos next. She didn't appreciate it though. My initial thought was "Oh S#!T.. hey it floats". I'll hold out a few more days before I try it again. Come to think of it my daughter dropped our mobile in her kiddie pool and it worked even better after that. I usually put the camera in a zip lock bag and then in a small back pack with my tackle. Don't take a mobile as I can't be bothered to answer it even when I'm not fishing. Cheers guys

Today was my final day of holiday after returning from Spain and the US. In conjunction with jetlag - aka no sleep last night, I decided to spend the day on the river lure fishing. Lots of fish breaking the surface and a great day to be outside. Blanked for the first time since the close season opened. Now my dilemna... I was taking a few landscape photos with a digital camera my wife got me "just for fishing". Slipped it back into my jacket pocket only to find its way through and into the water. :mad: :mad: I'm still waiting for it to dry a bit before I turn it on. Anyone else not afraid to admit they dropped their D camera in the drink? Does it still work??

Nick, can you resend or issue me another password? I seem to have misplaced it. Thanks Jeff

Thanks for the quick reply guys. I had thought of spraying on an adhesive but then with the environmental impact backing seems the better choice. I doubt it matters much since I'll never run out that much line so I 'm going to use 10lb mono as the backing. The diameter of the line is about the same. Such an easy fix but don't tell my wife. I see a new rod soon... Cheers

Hi All, I've got a Diawa openfaced reel. 3500 series I think. It holds just short of 300yds of 30 lb line. I've got 30 lb spiderwire on it at the moment. The line isn't all that old maybe 6 months. The problem is after a few sessions the line slips as if the tensioner for the drag was turned all the way off. The only way I have found to remedy this is to strip all the line off and wind it back on tight. Plays hell when you try to reel in a fish and it won't wind. Has anyone had similiar problems with any kind of braid? I haven't used mono in 5 or 6 years but I've never had any issues with it. Might be time to switch back?? Any suggestions? Cheers

Thank you Gray. It's brilliant. Cheers

Hi Paul, I was fishing the stretch of the Ure between the Sharow roundabout and Hewick Bridge. The river is a short walk from my house and is very shallow at the moment. The lowest I've seen it so far. It's also gin clear so you can see the Chub and what I think are Barbel. I let my imagination get away from me that day. As I was looking into the water about 4 feet deep I saw what I thought was a human skull. Thank God it was only a bag of rubbish but still had me going for a moment. One day last spring, I found myself at the Bridging site in Bishop Monkton. (Big pike there)Mostly sheep in the pasture there but on one occasion I found myself in the same situation as you. Bulls or in this case very large cows. I walked through them but they were more intimdating than curious of me so I had to leave. Well I ended up jumping the fence I think Newts advice is right. Watch out for all of them

Paul I also ran into them yesterday while walking the bank of River Ure. You beat me to the post. They are quite amazing. Caught some nice Chub on a gold spinner. They were hitting less than a second after it would hit the water. When I remember what my picture posting password is I'll post them. Cheers Jeff

Paul I beg to differ. I've been to those islands and I loved it. I've also been to Wichita Falls Texas and that I'd have to say is at least an armpit. Much much worse than Ascension anyway.

Phil, I sympathize with your view about your canal. It's a shame what has happened to it. Maybe with time your canal will return to what it was before. Sounds like it is going to take lots of time from what you describe. There has to be other reasons behind the destruction of such a nice place. A lot of money was involved. Surely it had nothing to do with jobs?? I once witnessed the attempted erradication of common carp from a refuge in the US. I won't say where but the carp weren't native and after dynamite and then poisoning carp were still present at the cost of which I never found out. Many birds and other animals didn't benefit as well as they would have liked. Sometimes we ought to stand back and let nature find it's own balance IMO. Kayaks don't need motors... Very quiet too.