Twin

I'm the chairman of Letchworth G C Angling Association. If Chevin would like to contact me I feel sure I can find some members like myself who remember Dick Walker and his friends including Pete Thomas who was fishing next to Dick when he caught his record Carp.

As an undertaker I can tell you the most popular is 'Wind beneath my wings' and 'If tommorrow never comes' There are 2 places that will never get planning consent for a crematorium and thats Cookham in Surrey and Burnham in Essex

even Chesters has sucummed to using 'Gays' as the preference for homosexuals whose perverted ways are now treated as 'normal' Since when did males have two sex organs?

As an undertaker, I can tell you that the most popular choice at a funeral is The Wind Beneath My Wings by Bett Midler, although Fields of Gold by Eva Cassidy is fast gaining popularity. We did however carry a coffin out of the church to Rock around the Clock, It was difficult to keep a straight face and keep in step!

Does anybody NOT know someone who is moving abroad? Middle England and their money are moving out. The dregs with nothing are moving in.

Die my dear doctor, that is the last thing I will do. Lord Palmeston on his death bed 1854

Did you know that the Post Office had to recall their latest stamps They had pictures of Arsenal players on them. People could'nt work out which side to spit on Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in an Arsenal shirt? The police dressed him up in womens underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered. The second surgeon says No librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order. The third surgeon says try electricians, everything inside them is colour coded The fourth says I prefer Arsenal fans, they're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable. Q Your trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and an Arsenal fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do? A Shoot the Arsenal fan......Twice Q If you see an Arsenal fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him? A It could be your bicycle Q What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead Arsenal fan on the road? A There are skid marks in front of the dog.

I was sent to Holland to install automatic air purifiers to 16 toilets in 2 rows of 8, constructed with clear double glazed glass. never saw anybody use them so I don't know if they were for male or female use or both.

Football, a game played by thugs and cheats and one of them 'forgets' to take a drugs test Oh yea. The athletes,cyclists,weightlifters etc will know what to do now. If this moron gets away with it we will have it confirmed the depths to which football has sunk

Can you buy diy microchipping equipment to insert microchips into fish to indentify them so they can be monitored or indentified if stolen.

What seabird has the Latin name Puffinus Puffinus? . . . . . A Manx Shearwater

My Cortizone injection was infinately worse than the pain from tennis elbow. Still it made tennis elbow sufferable after that, within a year it went away.

Help needed to fill in the application for a licence to kill Cormorants. I was refused the first time I applied.

Chesters I can't believe you've lost your bottle. In all the months I've been reading your messages I thought you were proud of your country and could'nt give a stuff to those who couldn't care less, which judging by the response of my first message can be measured in millions

My first message but what happened to yesterday, were none of you interested in our national day, was I the only one proud to wear a rose on my lapel and fly the flag