Scapanapper

Paula Yes shore fishing if you prefer. We could fish Steness loch for sea fish, brown and sea trout! and be near the pub!!!! Keep it in mind for next summer. Anyone else for a trip to the isles.

Sorry about getting you mixed up Bob. I like the idea of an AN event in Orkney, perhaps Thurso Angler and Tugmisstress could come over. We could do Sea angling and trout angling on the same day or even at the same time. Anyone else interested?

Bob Let me know when you are planning your trip I would like to join you. I think we met a few years back when you visited the Coastguard station in Cromwell road trying to promote your Orknet service (I hope I got it right and you aren't another ISP) Cheers Scapa.

Chris Tarrant resigns!!!! Is that your FINAL answer?

Nice pics Bob. If your house is Shamrock Lea, where is Realrock Lea? :confused: :confused: I overlook Kirk Sound and the Churchill barriers in Holm Mainland Orkney but we are about 200 metres from cliff edge. Cheers Scapa [ 14. December 2004, 02:31 PM: Message edited by: Scapanapper ]

First time I've played the music quiz. Out of 3 tries there was only one question on Gilbert and Sullivan, what chance have I got????

As a matter of fact Xmas is an appropriate abbreviation. The Greek letter Che (X) was a secret code during Roman times for Christ. So Xmas = Che Mass or Christ mass. It is not just a modern dumbing down shortening. Sorry to be a smart Ass but I believe this is the origin. Anyone know different? Cheers Scapa [ 13. December 2004, 01:47 PM: Message edited by: Scapanapper ]

I played 3 times with my 3 aliases and of all the movies mentioned I had only heard of 4 How about a change to Bible trivia? I know a lot about the Bible, for example I know that the first ice cream makers were Walls of Jericho. I know that thay had motorbikes coz it is written. The roar of Davids Triumph was heard throughout the land. And I know that Samson beat the Filthy swines with the Ass bone of a Giraffe. So bring it on

Thanks Chesters I'll be sure to put you at the top of the dinner invitation list

I think your automatic vasectomy machine needs a little more work!

Snatcher I've been thinking of trying to turn an old filing cabinet into a smoker. Do you think that would work? What about the paint on the inside, is that a potential hazard? Cheers Scapa

Now that's what I call bait

Should I CC my Santa letter to the Ayatollah just in case

Very nice, I've added one to my letter to Santa Cheers Scapa. PS What's a comforter? Perhaps someone who cheers you up after a blank day fishing?? :confused: :confused: [ 02. December 2004, 09:23 AM: Message edited by: Scapanapper ]

It's even quicker by Jaguar

Reality TV? A complete misnomer :mad:

I see Scottish boats are implicated as well. I don't think I could support a boycott on whisky

The nice crinkly ones with coastlines are ok but the boring square ones like Colorado and Wyoming! where the hell do you put them in the middle of nowhere??? And don't talk to me about Utah! What is the point of Utah? :confused: :confused:

From a strictly mathematical point of view............... What makes 100% ? What does it mean to give MORE than 100% ? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100% ? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give more than 100% ! How about acheiving 103% ? What makes up 100 % in life ? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions : If each letter of the alphabet is given a number A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 Then - H - A - R - D - W - O - R - K 8 + 1 + 18 + 4 + 23 + 15 + 18 + 11 = 98% and K - N - O - W - L - E - D - G - E 11 + 14 + 15 + 23 + 12 + 5 + 4 + 7 + 5 = 96% But A - T - T - I - T - U - D - E 1 + 20 + 20 + 9 + 20 + 21 + 4 + 5 = 100% And B - U - L - L - S - H - I - T 2 + 21 + 12 + 12 + 19 + 8 + 9 + 20 = 103% And look how far ass kissing will take you A - S - S - K - I - S - S - I - N - G 1 + 19 + 19 + 11 + 9 + 19 + 19 + 9 + 14 + 7 = 118% So one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hardwork and Knowledge will get you close and Attitude will get you there. it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Why would one want to :confused:

As I've said before it is nice to know that Chesters 1 has found part time employment. demon

Fans of Irish dancing will be excited by a recent discovery. Whilst renovating an old house in Dublin, builders found a manuscript copy of a book behind some old panelling. The book was dated 1850 and was entitled. IRISH DANCING Volume II. (What to do with your hands)

BTW. Where do you bury a dead dolphin with no money? . . . . . . . . . . . . . In a porpoise grave!!

What's all this got to do with dead dolphins :confused: :confused: :confused:

Next October is the 2ooth anniversary of the battle of Trafalgar. What if it was today? Scene HMS Victory, off the Spanish Coast. Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy." Hardy: "Aye, aye sir." Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to the signal officer. What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: "Sorry sir?" Nelson (reading aloud): "England expects every person to do his duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability". "What gobbledygook is this?" Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting 'England' past the censors, lest it be considered racist." Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco." Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have been designated smoke-free working environments." Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle." Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government's policy on binge drinking." Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it full speed ahead." Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water." Nelson: !'Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the cro' nest please." Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir." Nelson: "What?" Hardy: "Health and safety have closed the crow nest, sir. No harness. And they said that rope ladder doesn't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected." Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy." Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the fo'c'sle Admiral." Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd." Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled." Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card." Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under-represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency." Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons." Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?" Nelson:. "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy." Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral." Nelson: "What? This is mutiny." Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks." Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?" Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not." Nelson: "We're not?" Hardy: "No, sir. The Frenchies and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation." Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil." Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-coordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary." Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King." Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules." Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, the lash and sodomy?" Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment. But as for the third thing, what about that kiss now??"