Blackpool

Madmax to solve your problem P***s on the floor then tap it with your foot

Bradford weelclamping Co

Hurry up sharsam ime of to church on sunday

One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark". Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being anything you want after all you're the guv". But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks . . . I want 20 decks one on top of the other". "20 DECKS!", screams Noah. "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?" Yep, that's right, well . . . sort of right . . this time I want you to fill it up with fish", God answers. "Fish?", queries Noah. "Yep, fish . well, to make it more specific Noah, I want Carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!" Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?" "Check". With 20 decks, one on top of the other?". "Check". And you want it full of Carp?". "Check". Why?" asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether . . "Dunno", says God, "I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark".

:mad: On march 28th I went to the local computer fair held at Blackpool and I paid £350.00 for a new pc tower. Before buying the pc I saw the computer connected to a monitor and all seemed good and in perfect working order.60gig hard drive.dvd rom + dvd-rw -ddr333 systems board & 128 memmory. I was assured this was a very good new computer. My wife paid for this with a cheque / master card guarantee. The computer was placed into a box and we were told receipt and warranty was in the box. Only when we arrived home and unpacked the tower we noticed.yep.No receipt and No warrenty enclosed. Not even a contact phone No for this trader. The computer seemed to work fine until I started to load software i.e. Office 2000/nero ECT. Within hours the computer blue screened and would not start up again. I stated to the trader I was buying a new computer for home and work I was assured this was the computer I needed. As we was given no contact details and the next computer fair was in 2 weeks I asked the local pc repair shop to look at the tower and try to solve the problem. WOW did I get a shock. The memory with this tower was duff; the hard drive is a second hand one. The motherboard isn’t worth a carrot and not compatible with this pc and the processor is out of a laptop…. The only new thing was the plastic box…. I went to the next computer fair at Fleetwood and I saw the trader who sold me the pc.he is adament the computer was in good working order and because another company has looked into this pc the warrenty is no longer valid. I have contacted the local fair trading standards and even they said it will be hard to get my £350.00 back but the guy trading as price right computers is being investigated for selling second hand parts as new . I have had work done on the pc at an additional price of £180.00. I.e. new memory /mother board. This pc now stands me at £530.00 just for the tower. I work hard for my living and the monie we saved for this computer took us a long time to save. Just to be ripped off it makes me sick. Any-one using computer fairs please be very careful. Maybe cheep but also maybe nasty :confused: :confused: [ 06. May 2004, 04:41 PM: Message edited by: Blackpool ]

My mum allways said Nothing's cheep now'a days how true [ 04. May 2004, 07:55 PM: Message edited by: Blackpool ]

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, for the path is narrow. ..In fact, just f-off and leave me alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre. 3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk, that's the time to do it. 4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 6. No one is listening until you fart. 7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. 8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 9. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. 10. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 13. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 15. . Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen. 16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. 17. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement. 18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 19. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 21. . There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it 24. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 25. You are born naked, wet, and hungry, then you get slapped on your arse.. and it only gets worse from then on.

This issue was covered on the bbc watchdog program a few weeks ago , The emails and the websites are very good quality / convincing..Theye said any bank asking for your bank details via e-mail / New website..Check with your Bank personely before giving out any kind of personel info.. The criminals who run this kind of scam can & will clean out your accounts in no time at all..

I am trying to find out availability to fish the piers i have been informed North pier is now No Fishing ? What is the regs on the south and central piers ie / times / fees.. ect ..any info many thanks

A UNWANTED GIFT / Tide Plotter 2004 is a powerful tidal prediction program for Windows 95/98/NT4/2000/ME/CE/XP and Pocket PC, Versions for: UK Irish and Channel ports, Europe and East Coast of US Features tide tables, graphs, logs, calculations and many more useful tide calculations. Tide Plotter makes working with tides a point and click affair. An very useful tool for any user of tidal waters! a bargain at £5.50 ( fiver for the disk and 50p package and post ) mailto:info@blackpooldomains.co.ukinfo@blackpooldomains.co.uk [ 30. April 2004, 11:31 AM: Message edited by: Blackpool ]

Maybe Ken Dodd in drag...

On a pack of cigarettes: WARNING -- The Tobacco Institute has determined that smoking just one cigarette greatly increases your risk of heart attack by making you so incredibly sexy that gorgeous members of the opposite sex surround you night and day, begging for intercourse and wearing you into exhaustion, unless, of course, you have another couple of cigarettes to steady your nerves. (Jacob Weinstein, McLean) On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake. (Jim Gaffney, Manassas) On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker. (Art Grinath, Takoma Park) On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony. (Judith Daniel, Washington) On a piano: Harmful or fatal if swallowed. (Peter Fay, Herndon) On a can of Fix-a-Flat: Not to be used for breast augmentation. (Jerry Robin, Gaithersburg) On Kevorkian's suicide machine: This product uses carbon monoxide, which has been found to cause cancer in laboratory rats. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac) On a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2 shipping and a $3 handling charge, for a total of $4.97. (Russell Beland, Springfield) On Lyndon LaRouche literature: Mr. LaRouche is a serious political figure and not a paranoid lunatic, and should therefore -- Hey, what are you looking at? Quit staring at me. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac) On work gloves: For best results, do not leave at crime scene. (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills) On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms. (Patrick G. White, Taneytown) On a calendar: Use of term "Sunday" for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel) On Odor Eaters: Do not eat. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge) On Sen. Bob Dole: WARNING: Contents under pressure and may explode. (Doug Keim, Schaumburg, Ill.) On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium. (Gary Dawson, Arlington) On a fax machine: WARNING! Never attempt to directly fax anyone an image of your naked buttocks. Always photocopy your buttocks and fax the photocopy. (John Kammer, Herndon) On syrup of ipecac: Caution: May cause vomiting. (Paul Styrene, Olney) On a revolving door: Passenger compartments for individual use only. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel) On a microscope: Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear. (J. Calvin Smith, Laurel) On children's alphabet blocks: Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive. (David Handelsman, Charlottesville) On a wet suit: Capacity, 1. (J. Calvin Smith, Laurel)

Dave The caption for that one is ( RICE OR CHIPS )

Ive spent all morning attempting this exersise..I got to No 13 all was going well then the bloke next door whanted his cat back.. [ 26. April 2004, 03:21 PM: Message edited by: Blackpool ]

Two nuns on the beach , Suddenly a streaker walks past one of the nuns fainted ,the other one had a stroke."

Charity Farm Fisheries Wirghtington? I Have never fished this place is it worth a visit. ?

This carn't be a scam..Why not send them a fiver and a photo of rodger cook..

Cliff the link was removed ( bad boy ) go to search = blackpoolfisingtrips.. / course fishing I will be placing a photo of the local donkey for you know who.. good morning mate..

Andy ime very far from gay ..YOU DONT TAKE COAL TO NEWCASTLE !ARE YOU THE HEN PECKED ONE OR JUST A FETISH FOR DONKEYS..

Well boys it looks like its Blackpool to the rescue. [ 24. April 2004, 01:28 PM: Message edited by: Blackpool ]

The section of river between the wear and the viaduct would be ideal for casting a fly & spinner good luck Blackpool

I was doing a search via anglersnet on holiday fishing north west and i was disapointed to find very little or none on offer for disabled anglers. .I am vince webmaster at Blackpool Fishing Trips web site I am at the present putting together pages on fishing info for disabled anglers in the north west.. Trips Holidays e.c.t, I have got a few good venues for sea fishing /course and fly fishing that can accomodate for disabled anglers,What i would like is any relevant infomation for the disabled anglers north west area i would love to hear from you, All usefull info will of course be posted on the site..I am hoping to make this section as usefull as posible..Do you need to find a suitable fishing venue.. mailto:info@blackpoolfishingtrips.co.ukinfo@blackpoolfishingtrips.co.uk

I was doing a search via anglersnet on holiday fishing north west and i was disapointed to find very little or none on offer for disabled anglers. .I am vince webmaster at Blackpool Fishing Trips web site I am at the present putting together pages on fishing info for disabled anglers in the north west.. Trips Holidays e.c.t, I have got a few good venues for sea fishing /course and fly fishing that can accomodate for disabled anglers,What i would like is any relevant infomation for the disabled anglers north west area i would love to hear from you, All usefull info will of course be posted on the site..I am hoping to make this section as usefull as posible..Do you need to find a suitable fishing venue.. mailto:info@blackpoolfishingtrips.co.ukinfo@blackpoolfishingtrips.co.uk