Paul Boote

"Thirty pence for a First Class stamp? It's outrageous!" [mutter, grumble, mutter] The Times, January 23, 2006 Anti-hunt group survives postal attack By Helen Nugent THE Royal Mail has saved an animal rights group from bankruptcy after hunt supporters cost it £500,000 by bombarding its Freepost address with junk mail and heavy parcels. The League Against Cruel Sports has agreed a rescue package with Royal Mail after a fund-raising drive was hijacked by hunters and left the association with a crippling bill. What started as a plea to its supporters for donations to a free-billing address ended up involving the bomb squad, police and Royal Mail fraud investigators. Problems began when hunt enthusiasts heard about the drive to raise money for the league’s hunt monitors and decided to sabotage it. A round-robin e-mail was sent to hunters urging them to abuse the system by sending Christmas cards, empty envelopes and bulky packages. Within a fortnight, van loads of bricks, telephone directories, heavy books, abusive letters and animal excrement were sent to the league’s offices in South London. One hunter posted a dead squirrel. The joke soon turned sour when the Royal Mail depot in Poole, Dorset, called in the bomb squad after workers discovered a couple of suspect packages addressed to the league. They proved to be house bricks. The scam intensified when Jeremy Clarkson used a newspaper column to urge hunt supporters to take part, saying that it would leave the league less to spend on surveillance equipment. The presenter of Top Gear said that he was going to send a “paving stone or a horse”. As the league struggled to cope with the growing volume of mail, all of which Britain’s biggest anti-hunt group had to pay for, it decided to call in Royal Mail investigators and detectives. Officials tapped into the network of e-mails among hunters. It is alleged that one was sent on by the wife of an employee at Buckingham Palace, while another is believed to have been sent from the e-mail address of the Master of Foxhounds Association, hunting’s governing body. Alastair Jackson, the chairman of the association, said that he was not aware of any e-mails passed through his office, but he added that “everyone applauded the idea at the time”. The original e-mail being forwarded stated that the Countryside Alliance backed the idea, but this was refuted by the alliance. Now the Royal Mail has agreed that the league should pay only for those items of mail sent before it alerted the postal service to the problem and cancelled the Freepost address. This means that the league’s bill will be about £2,000, not the estimated £500,000, which would have almost certainly bankrupted the group. Wanda Wyporska, spokeswoman for the league, which was set up in 1924 to stop violence against animals, said that half the sacks of mail were from the West Country. Some senders, she said, had used company franking machines. “We are delighted to say that the hunters’ attempt to bankrupt the league has failed spectacularly. They have wasted the time and resources of the police and the Royal Mail through their petty and spiteful campaign. Next time the price of a letter goes up, you have the hunters to thank.” Police said that they were investigating whether the culprits could be charged with theft, fraud or sending malicious post. Just forwarding the e-mail could lead to criminal proceedings. A spokesman for Royal Mail added: “There is no point sending any more mail, it will be returned or destroyed.”

With apologies to Newt... A Message from John Cleese (allegedly) To the citizens of the United States of America): In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up vocabulary). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form ofcommunication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

"Contact Harrisons of Liverpool" I did, a few weeks ago, with a view to buying one - rod, blank or handled part-built - without success...

Here are some answers, singy - in haste! Thanks Paul At the moment the stretch is running well with a little colour though.......... Is there any merit in fishing a team of flies? Not usually required (or the done thing) on a chalkriver, though in heavier flows I'll use two, with the one on a short dropper 15 to 20 in. above the point fly being a large one and really carrying a ton of weight. or are grayling mainly going to be fopund on the bottom (looking at the fish;s mouth they do look like a bottom feeder) I have a good selection of Czech Nymphs, and depth charge nymphs (tungston) I even have a few killer bugs (look very much like a maggot) though these do not carry weight (might have to dip into my carp tackle for some putty) Yup. Or split shot. Though casting isn't pretty, more of a lob. i do not however have anything in pink, and looking through various web pages there seems to be alot of pink grayling flies. Take your Sawyer Bugs (they have a pinkish hue, and send em down with a big, ballast fly (eg one of those tungsten depth charge jobs), or with shot. Are these lovely fish line shy? Not really. I use 3lb mono on average, only going fine or into fluoro when the water is very low and clear and the fish wary. I'll probably be taking 2 rods, a 8.5 ft 4/5 wt and a 9ft 6 weight (though I suspect the 6 wt is maybe a little too powerful) I know the river has plenty of trout and sea trout in at the moment and wouldn't want to go too light if I can get away with it. I fish a 5-weight floater for much of my grayling fishing. Would a 5lb flourocarbon tippet be OK or too heavy? My 4/5 wt outfit I only have a floating line (however the 6wt I have floating, intermediate and a sink tip ) hence why I'm taking it. The fluoro will be be okay, but if you can SEE fish in shallow water, fish finer. Take the 6-weight with floater just in case a gale is blowing.

I don't know how high and clear the Test is at present, but if you can see the fish (or know a spot where fish have taken your bait previously), try a well leaded (or bead-headed) shrimp / bug or a Hare's Ear type fly in sizes 10 to 16 - 14 being about right as an 'average' in average, winter, chalkriver conditions (grayling these days see a lot of large flies - 10s and 12s - and will stare straight through - I'll go to 18 and 20 then). Cast the fly upstream and across, allow it to sink DEEP, then watch the tip of your fly line like a hawk for any slowing or sudden stoppage, twitch or draw. If the weather is mild (even if it is not) grayling will sometimes take a dry fly in dead of winter. Fly is lovely way of fishing for grayling: get addicted to it and you'll be dumping your bait rods!

Thanks, Martin. My own (plus a one-off 13ft Barbel Trotter that I never got around to retailing) is still going strong. Caught me lots of coarse fish and mullet, and salmon to 17.25 pounds. I have just tracked down, with some difficulty, 'possibly the last' old TFG River & Stream at £49.99 in Britain, and have bought it. Many thanks. Paul

Some people might not quite agree with James Babb, or with me, Newt - http://tinyurl.com/8x4q5 - but, in these times of "managed expectations", the more determined among us can only continue to work for the greater good, and live in hope...

[With sincere apologies to CSN and to JoniM] Seen linked on the Midcurrent flyfishing news just now. "But if this little sport-any sport-is to have a future, we need new blood, young blood, like the two 10-year-olds I saw watching a fly-tying demonstration, their eyes aglow with wonder and delight-the same sheer joy that brought most of us to this funny little sport, the same sheer joy that, unless we in the business manage to wring all the joy and wonder out of it in the name of business, will continue to bring in new people, shining warriors of the future who will take our places, perpetually protecting all our rivers from the forces of evil." James R. Babb in Gray's Sporting Journal about the huge, annual, Denver flyfishing retailers show. Now, think Britain … think coarse, not game… http://www.grayssportingjournal.com/storie...6/angling.shtml

It should also be noted that Sadam was a keen "fisherman". He and his entourage would roll up to an Iraqi river and BOMB the devil out of it. The Iraqi population doubtless does the same, as do many rural Indians for mahseer... Little wonder that the fish featured in the article were Palace lake fish... But lake fish don't interest me. Love to have a biggie from a river, though - without half the Allied forces watching my back: it's not fishing then (as I found in Turkey), it's a stupid stunt. Maybe in fifty years or so (if the Turkish and Syrian dams upriver haven't destroyed the Tigris and Euphrates)...

Yup. Barbus esocinus - http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=Bar...le+Search&meta= I went after them in eastern Turkey in the 1990s, and required a Turkish girlfriend's army-officer father to give me a military escort! Fished hard for no fish, just a load of carp (did I spell that right?). I have mentioned this fish on AngNet before - stuff about the big ones the Brits caught during the Mesopotamian campaign of the First World War...

It would be churlish of me to comment... http://tinyurl.com/75a9c

Thanks, Martin - I'll check it out. I'm not in the market for heavier test curved Barbel Quivers, having designed and built some pretty fine ones years ago, keeping an 11ft standard BQ with overfit quivers and a 12ft (never retailed) Special for future personal use on the day I said to myself: "Right, stuff rod-building - I'm going fishing!"

There is only one new coarse rod that I REALLY need now, and it is an Avon Quiver type for roach and chub fishing on smaller rivers; I have been looking around for several weeks. Page 26 of this week's DTs (AT) featured "6 of the Best Specialist Rods", one of them being the Fox Specialist Duo at 68 squid (as opposed to 139 nickers for the Drennan Duo). Anyone seen, handled, fished with this Fox rod?

Just seen the following posting on a flyfishing forum: One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers "what it means to be British?". Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one from a chap in Switzerland ... "Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture & watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign".

I don't like to trash ANY (or anybody's) product, but I know a number of anglers whose XDAs started out just fine and dandy, then unaccountably ground to a sudden halt drag-wise - and these were XDAs not being used in the salt. My recommendation (and you will still ultimately be paying your dosh to Svendsen Sports who import / wholesale both reels) is the new Okuma 'Helios' reel. Just under £100 and one heck of a piece of kit. I handled one in November last year, and thought "Wow!". Nice looks, beautifully engineered, great drag, tough as old boots - the equal of reels three times the price in my opinion, and FAR FAR better than the XDA. I'm going to be buying a pair of Helios soon in the 8/9 size (plus some spare spools) for both my sea-trout and SWFFing. Suggest you look at it.

Three Sheffields up for grabs in a Dangling Times competition this week. Pages 16 & 17. Martin Bowler, it appears, rather likes the reel too, but then......

Yup. Location, location, location. We simply cannot expect (or demand, as some, I believe, now, might be) instant "Wessex village respect" for the river. Check out the February edition of "Southern Angler". Talk on the front inside page of barbecued swans, missing Wandle fish, and "uneducated foreign nationals"... Sadly, we are going to have to be realistic. I'd love to ban all motorcraft from the Thames (and canoes from its weirpools), but I know I can't...

I sympathize. On the few occasions I shared a lunch or dinner with an American Evangelical Christian 'Pastor' missionary and his family whom I'd met in the Congo during some travels in the early 1990s, I wondered why, at the start of meal times, my host would always cover his African Grey's cage with a cloth. "Why, XXXX?" I asked. "Well, he joins in our Grace, then he 'tut's..." Clever bird.

They'll even catch Indian mahseer, too. My first on such a lure was in February or March 1981 on a blue-silver Redgill Pilchard (large, single stainless hook fitted in a slot in the belly - I still have the lure). Proceeded to get a bit cleverer in the years that followed...

Lovely birds. Used to see flocks of them over the Congo River in central Africa. Nice story here - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4619764.stm

Scroll down to "The Angler's Coast and Other Hidden Gems" on this fishing news blog - http://www.midcurrent.com/news/index.html - then hit the link to the article mentioned. It seems that at least somebody got the message. He logs off and bows outs now, blushing...

Seriously, Gerry, it is a lovely lovely reel. A 'nice' silver and not some horrible chrome-plate affair. I said to the tackle-dealer, who had been showing me his own, new £600-plus American-made saltwater fly reels: "If THIS [the Sheffield] had 'Tarpon' or 'Sailfish' stamped on its backplate.." He completed it for me: "- it would cost several hunded pounds, Paul." It would.

Just seen and handled the above reel (in a very nice, not over-flashy, silver finish) for the very first time, and in the next twenty minutes am returning with folding stuff to the tackle-shop to buy the critter. I reckon it's a gem for the price: lovely looks and finish, spins very freely, with a light enough drum (and low enough start-up inertia) to Wallis Cast with light float tackle, yet durable enough in terms of build to do lead work and handle hard-fighting biggies. Time to retire - from regular use, at least - one of my several, classic oldies. I am not one to throw compliments about lightly (they have to be earned), but in this particular case... Damned clever people, the Chinese. PS - I'm out of the door, NOW.

You will find the members on the UK Saltwater Fly Fishing Forums very friendly and very helpful (but do remember to THANK them for advice received) - http://ukswff.proboards26.com/ My advice on rods: 9' 8-weights for general UK saltwater; 9- or 10-weights for pike. Depends on the strength of your arm. Get as good a rod as you can afford - cheaper rods, like the RT mentioned, not only punch below their weight, but are inclined to 'fold' (three-piecers suddenly becoming five-piecers, if you get my drift).

PS - Ragi is a naturally glutinous millet grain. When made into a paste then steamed or boiled it hardens - without any need for eggs / whatever. Vary your cooking times for batches of baits. "How do I cook them?" you ask. You get yourself a large, iron, water-boiler pot that you can place on a base of stones surrounding a campfire. Half fill the pot with a few gallons of water, then tie a square of hessian sackcloth over its mouth with a length of hessian / jute twine or light rope (NOT plastic twine, for obvious reasons). Place the balls of soft ragi paste onto the sacking 'bowl', then place a piece of sheet iron / whatever on top of them to act as a lid. Cooking time: five or so minutes, up to an hour... Tip: Take some uncooked and partly, very lightly cooked paste with you to the river. Sometimes the fish will want a softer bait. Vary your bait sizes. From small (as directed above) to huge... Don't get me started on fish, fig and crab baits........